Are we alive?

I swear when you don't blog for a month or longer you keep putting it off because it seems like so much work to fit a months worth of events in one little box, it is a lot of work and that's why I have been procrastinating. Actually I have more than just one month, I have almost TWO MONTHS of blogging to catch up on. Whew! It's going to be work. However, my other blog has not been neglected at all. It's a spoiled blog. I think that one is easier because I just type away and this one I have to upload pictures etc. It's time consuming. So, if you want to catch up on my single life head to that blog (you should all have it on your Facebook)and this blog I will get to soon. I swear. Be prepared for the longest post yet. Until then, I just wanted to let ya'll know that we are still alive and kickn' :)

Check this out!

Last weekend I was complaining to my mom that all of my Christmas decorations are ugly and all of my ornaments are ugly. I've had these same ornaments for about six years. And all of my house Christmas decorations are ones that my mom has handed down to me, she gives me a new one every year it seems like. And obviously they aren't very cute if she didn't want them, but I'll take what I can get.

Buying all new Christmas stuff is expensive and I'm not one to buy a few and then wait until next year, I want it all at once. So last weekend I went to Hobby Lobby (love that store) and I bought all new ornaments and my goal this weekend is to buy all new house decorations.

So the other day my mom called me ecstatic because she found me a new Christmas decoration for my house, she could not wait to bring it to me. This is what it was:
















































































Isn't that awesome?! I don't know if I'm more excited about the decoration itself, or the gigantic wine glass! But her friend at work makes these and my mom had her make one for me. My new ornaments that I bought are the red, silver and black ones that you can see in there so it matches my tree. I think it's the coolest thing. I love it! Thanks mom!

So I'm thinking... After Christmas I can take all of those ornaments out of it and just use it as my nightly wine glass lol :)

Who needs a cake?

I have just the place! Introducing... Rockstar Cakes!

My friends, Lynda and Tianna, make these cakes and I am obsessed with these cakes! I think they are the cutest thing ever! And I'm jealous that they are this creative and crafty, I would never be able to do something like this. I have a hard time just making mac & cheese.

They make cakes for every occasion possible: Weddings, Birthday parties, Christmas parties, Anniversary parties etc. The possibilities for needing one of these cakes is endless, there is always something.

Here is a peek at a few of my favorites:





































































































Aren't those the cutest cakes ever?! I love them! So if you have something coming up and need a cake and don't have time to make one or you don't want to order a boring gross cake from your local grocery store, let me know and I will send you to Lynda and Tianna! You will absolutely love their cakes!

Remembering... Jesse

I have been sitting here staring at this blog for a few hours now trying to put into words how I feel. I begin to type and then delete it, start to type again and then delete it. I really don't know what to say besides, my heart hurts just as much today as it did a year ago. And I am still waiting for Jesse to knock on my door and say "ha! gotchya!" with that smirk on his face. And then hear him laugh at me while I am screaming at him for playing such a cruel joke. And as much as I hated it when he would laugh at me when I was mad, I would give anything to have on of those moments again.

First thing this morning his mom sent me this text:













Look at this guy! And look at those ears! Oh how I miss those ears! He would always make fun of my nose and say I had a big honker and he had a perfect gumdrop nose, so I would make fun of his ears. I would tell him that we have to make sure this little baby boy doesn't confuse his daddy with the elves at Christmas time :-O I know it's not a very funny comeback, but it worked. I will never forget the day when he came home from the airport and he said "do you know what a lady just said to me at the airport" and I said "what" and he said "she says I have a nose that people pay lots of money to get" and he was so flattered and so proud. And that necklace he is wearing... I worked really hard to buy him that and was so excited to see him always wearing it. I now have it hanging in my room.

On Facebook this morning I was trying to decide which picture to use and unfortunately I don't have very many pictures because they were always taken on Jesse's camera, and his camera is MIA. But out of the few I have this one is my favorite, doesn't it just make your heart melt?













A few Jesse quirks that will always stick with me:

Cereal... He loved cereal, at least at my house he did. I always had to make sure I had a stock of cereal's when he would visit. And he would stand in my kitchen and eat bowl after bowl of cereal, sometimes he would eat so much and would get sick. And then he would come out of the bathroom and say "sweety I don't know why my stomach is so upset" LOL! Still to this day I always make sure I am stocked up on cereal. Oh and he would put ice cubes at the bottom of the cereal bowl, it always grossed me out.

Ramen Noodles... Again, I always made sure I was stocked up. And you couldn't make the noodles too soft or too crunchy, they had to be right in between. And to this day I still always have a stock of Ramen Noodles, and make sure I cook the noodles just right.

Spaghetti... He would only eat my spaghetti with angel hair pasta, picky guy isn't he?! I still always make my spaghetti with angel hair pasta.

Ice cream... He loved ice cream, especially Pistachio flavor. And he would put milk at the bottom of the bowl, I love that he gave me this idea. And I can't count how many times we made a run to Maverick to get a Snicker ice cream bar.

A few memories that always make me laugh, but annoyed me at the same time. But gotta love 'em!

When I was pregnant he would tickle me way too long and I would scream "stop it stop it I'm going to pee my pants" and then I would pee my pants and he would say "gross I can't believe you peed your pants" as if I didn't warn him. And it never stopped him from doing it again and again and again. It would make me so mad! Sometimes he would get Braxton in on it and they would double up and get me real good. Or he would tickle torture Braxton, but at least Braxton never peed his pants lol.

Every time I got up off the couch when I was pregnant he would say "boom boom, boom boom" and I would cry and cry and he would say "oh sweety" but with a smile on his face and a giggle under his breath. And at the time it was not funny, I was pregnant and fat. But after I had Carson I was able to laugh at it.

He was always giving me baby pinches. You know those little pinches when you barely grab any skin and it hurts really bad? Well he loved to torture me with those and it would bug the crap out of me! They especially hurt when I was pregnant and retaining a lot of water, but he would still laugh. Same with coming up behind me and slapping my butt, they weren't love spanks, they HURT!

Every time we would watch a movie I would fall asleep and he would get soooo mad "wake up! I'm not here to hang out by myself" and I would try to keep my eyes open for a little, and then fall right back to sleep. And I would wake up in the middle of the night to a dark living room and all by myself on the couch. Instead of waking me up to go up to bed, he would leave me down there just because he was mad that I fell asleep. But the only reason why I would fall asleep is because we wouldn't start a movie until 9:00 at night and I am not a night person like him, but he would take it personal. But by morning time he always forgave me.

His last Christmas he did all of his shopping on Christmas Eve and he did it all in one place, TJ Max. He bought me a gift card and I can't remember what he bought Braxton. But he bought Carson some pajama's and a Utah Jazz jersey, both in a size SIX! Carson was THREE at the time... I still have both items of clothing waiting for another two years when Carson can wear them. LOL!

He loved to torture Carson just as much. He would grab his baby face and hold it in his hands and kiss him all over for like five minutes. Carson would scream and scream, Jesse would just laugh and keep on going. Meanwhile, I'm standing there not knowing what to do because it was so cute seeing him loving his son so much, but I hated seeing my baby so annoyed. And when he finally finished, Carson would have a red rash on his face for days from Jesse's scruffy face.

He loved taking Carson into the shower with him, but Carson... Not so much. Carson would scream the hardest and loudest cry ever! And instead of trying to hurry and get the shower over with because the baby is so upset, Jesse would take his sweet old time and would repeat "it's okay son" and then sing a little song and was in no hurry at all. Meanwhile, mama is out there cringing because I want to go grab my crying baby boy!

Sometimes he would watch Carson while I went to work and I would always tell him to make sure Carson gets something to eat and would give him a few ideas of what to fix him. So I would come home at lunch and he'd say "Carson ate some apple, string cheese, ramen noodles, some cereal" and would name off a bunch of things. So basically he would make him one thing and Carson would only have a few bites of it so he would make him something else and then something else. I would come home to the biggest mess in the kitchen. Poor kid was being over fed lol.

A few of my greatest memories that I will always miss:

His random "I love Cindy Angell" when I least expected it.

When he would walk in the kitchen and interrupt whatever I was doing and just stare at me while pointing his finger to his cheek or mouth to give him a kiss.

When he said "I love you" after a phone conversation and I would say "love you too" and he would get really mad at me and say "don't EVER say love you too, why can't you say 'I' love you too"

Our rides on his motorcycle, even though I was always scared to death, I still loved them.

The smile on his face when he would try to sleep in and Carson would come in and jump on him and say "daddy"

How excited Braxton would get when Jesse would go outside and play ball with him.

How excited Carson would get when he would see daddy pull up on his motorcycle. Still to this day every motorcycle he sees he says "that's like my daddy's bike"

I could fill up this entire blog with memories and stories of Jesse. I miss this guy so much. I can't believe it has been a year that he passed away. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. My heart still hurts so much... When will it stop? Or will it ever stop?

I miss his face, his cute ears, his gumdrop nose that he was so proud of, his perfectly round head that he was also so proud of, his gorgeous smile, his hairier than hairy body, a personality that I will never find anywhere else, his hugs, his kisses, his pinches, his spanks, his tickles... But most of all I miss, his presence.

We will forever miss you, Jesse. We love you! IIII Love you!!!

Shopped Out!!

I still have a whole month of Christmas shopping to do and my poor baby is already shopped out. Poor kid. I guess I need to find some babysitters...

Napa Napa Napa!!!

Okay I am finally getting to this blog post, it took a few weeks, but better late than never!

My trip to Napa that I won was AMAAAAZING! It was filled with fantastic food, great people, fine wine, and awesome bands. I knew it was going to be a great time, but had no idea it was going to be this good. And having my bff (Kara) there made it even better.

The trip was sort of a tour group type of thing with set times for tours, dinners, drinks, and concerts. And I didn't like this idea when I first found out about it because I wanted some free time to take Kara around since she had never been to Napa. But it worked out perfectly because we had set plans, that were fun plans, and then we also had our free time. And this was a "winners" only thing so it wasn't open to the public to purchase tickets. So all of the concerts were a small group and a more intimate concert with the artists.

This Live in the Vineyard happens twice a year, in April and November. And there are three ways to win this exciting trip, your local radio station, Aloft Hotels, and through Live in the Vineyard. I have already put in my name for the next contest in April, I WILL win again lol.

I don't have time, and you don't have time, for me to bore you with every detail of this exciting trip. So I will give you all short stories of the highlights of our trip, and then overload you with pictures. Deal?

I must tell you all about the interesting first day and half we had. Long story short, we wore our sweats to travel in and had a plan to change once we arrived to our hotel in Napa, and then head out to some wineries for the afternoon until we had to be at our dinner/wine party at 5:00 and then the concerts at 7:00... But when we got there our room wasn't ready. No biggie, we went about our day in our sweats and hit some wineries and thought we would head back around 3:00 and our room would be ready by then. Wrong! Our room still wasn't ready, so what should we do? Drink more wine! We sat at the hotel lobby bar and had a few glasses of wine, and after about an hour we started complaining that our room wasn't ready. The hotel then gave us free drinks, not that we needed any at this point. But else are we gonna do, right? So we sat at that bar and drank and drank and drank, in our wonderful sweats. Meanwhile, the pitcher for the Phillies has a wedding going on at this resort. Here we are in our sweats, a little drunk, and there are beautiful people all around us all dressed up for a wedding. Embarrassing I tell ya, embarrassing!

FINALLY at 4:45 our room was ready, 15 minutes before we needed to be all cleaned up and back to the lobby. And we are drunker than drunk. We had been drinking since noon. Not a good thing when you have two hours of twenty five wineries to drink from, people to meet, concerts to watch, and then artists to meet.

That entire night is a big blur. Kara ended up getting sick early in the night and went back to the room. I ended up staying out drinking until midnight, and have little memory of it and little memory of who I was hanging out with etc.

I do remember at one point I found Crystal Bowersox, don't ask me how I found her cause I have no idea. I am a huge American Idol fan and have always been a fan of Crystal, so seeing her was like Christmas morning for a little kid. I don't think I said too much to her, I sat my drunken butt right by her and just stared at her while she continued her conversations with her friend and husband. One thing I do remember was asking her "where are your dreadlocks" and she looked at me and said "they are here just pulled up" and she wasn't very nice about it, I could tell she was annoyed by my drunk ass. But of course I don't realize any of this until the next morning. I hope I didn't say anything else stupid :/

The next morning we were supposed to be to our shuttle at 10:45 to go to some steak place and learn how to cook the perfect steak and taste which wines go with steak. It sounds fun, but we were soooo hungover and sick. I honestly do not remember the last time I was that hungover. I called my mom at 8:00 in the morning in tears because I felt so horrible. But she didn't want to give me her magical mom powers to make me feel better, she had no sympathy at all. Rude mom, rude! So we skipped our steak adventure so we could nurse our hangovers.

By the afternoon we decided to suck it up and get out and enjoy the beautiful day in Napa. So we went to Bounty Hunter, which was a BBQ and brewery place. On the way there Kara had to throw up a few times, but was better by the time we made it there. A little food and we were starting to feel better.

We then went to the local liquor store to get beer thinking a beer would cure our hangover. And it did, for the most part. We were still a little hungover but were not going to miss the evening dinner/wine party and concerts. And we told ourselves that we needed to limit our wine drinking and have a glass of water between each glass of wine.

From there one our trip was fabulous! I'm not saying the first day and half wasn't fabulous, it was more than fabulous. But drinking from noon until midnight is never a good thing, never. So from there on we were able to stay somewhat sober and remember our trip.

Here are some pics:

Our first stop in our cute sweats and what started the drunkness was Hagafen, some cute little winery we found.









































We then went Darioush. I think this was one of my favorite wineries. The building was soooo awesome.

The few pictures that were taken on our first drunken night...

























And while Kara was passed out and sick in the hotel room and I was out and about, doing who knows what. I did make it to the Zac Brown Band concert. And apparently I found a friend named Mark and we took Kara's pass so he could go to the concert with me. I don't remember Mark. But I did have missed calls and text messages from him the next morning. Silly me...

I am not a country music fan so I have never heard Zac Brown Band, I have only heard of them. But I'll tell ya what, that concert was soooo fun! Mark and I danced the night away.












I really am in this picture, dancing away. You can find me if you look really really hard lol.












We were pretty excited that we had time to get ready the second night, and excited that we were sober and were going to remember the night. We were feeling good and had to take a picture of it lol.

Our first concert that night was Crystal, she was sooo good.

















After the concert she came out to socialize. Her guitarist, the one on the far left, saw me and said "Angel"... Which means they remembered me from the night before. Embarrassing! But Crystal laughed about it took a picture with me lol.













The next concert was Hedley. If you have not heard these guys, you need to. They were awesome. And they are cool guys too. We ended up hanging out with them later in the night and ate pizza with them.
















































Next... James Blunt. Not a huge fan of his, but I like him and he was really good live.
























Next... KT Tunstall. Love her! She was my favorite out all of the bands!

















We came upon this gentleman and he looked like he would be in a band, but we didn't want to ask because that would be rude and embarrassing if he was in a band and we had never heard of him. So eventually we found out that he is the singer of Runner Runner who we were going to be seeing perform the next day. So we hung out with him for a little bit, he was such a nice guy.













A successful semi sober night and we were able to get up the next morning for our festivities. Which included...

A tour at Miner Vineyard, or maybe it's Miner Family Vineyard? I can't remember. But this was a beautiful winery! They have caves where they store their wine in to age. And not only did they give us wine tasting after wine tasting, but we actually were able to drink wine from a barrell that needed to age another year. Very interesting taste, but still good of course.





































After our tour Josh Radin performed in a room in the cave. Amazing!!!

Mr. Miner and one of the tour guides.

After Miner we were taken to the home of Rob and Kat McDonald who are the owners of Girls in the Vineyard. Such a beautiful home!













Kat McDonald, her daughter, and Cutie the white chicken.

Chef Lisa Stavley, I think that's her last name. She promised not to cook up Cutie.

And this is where we saw Runner Runner perform. When I met them the night before I didn't know who they were, but when I heard them sing I ended up knowing some songs from the radio. So I knew some songs, just didn't know them. Another awesome band.

And this is the best highlight of the trip... We were given 3 different kinds of red wine, but didn't know what kind we were given. They were just numbered 1, 2 and 3. And we had to mix the different wines to make our own wine. I know it sounds easy, but it's not. We had measure and write down what 30ml of what wine and what 20ml or 15ml of another kind etc. And we had to make a team name, and since we were at Girls in the Vineyard... Our team name was Girls in the Salt Flats, clever right?

Well guess what??? We won we won we won!!! We won first place of having the best wine mix! Can you believe it?! Our prize was a gold metal, which we failed to take a picture of because we were so excited. And we won A CASE OF WINE!!! It was so awesome! But trying to get that home and smuggle it into Utah, plus all of our other alcohol, was not so fun. But we got all wine and beer home safely :)

A few random pics of cool peeps we met.

This guy makes some gooood beer called Napa Smith. And of course you can't find it in Utah, so we smuggled some home :)

























And of course I can't forget the resort we stayed at, Silverado Resort. It was beeeaaauutiful.





















So after splitting the case of wine with Kara I ended up coming home with eight bottles of wine and a six pack of beer, that was two weeks ago and all I have left is two bottles of wine... And Utah is so lame and doesn't sale these wines, what am I going to do??? I better get back to Napa again soon!

And I hope and pray that I win again in April!