~The Angell's~

Are we alive?

2011-02-01T14:21:00.000-08:00

I swear when you don't blog for a month or longer you keep putting it off because it seems like so much work to fit a months worth of events in one little box, it is a lot of work and that's why I have been procrastinating. Actually I have more than just one month, I have almost TWO MONTHS of blogging to catch up on. Whew! It's going to be work. However, my other blog has not been neglected at all. It's a spoiled blog. I think that one is easier because I just type away and this one I have to upload pictures etc. It's time consuming. So, if you want to catch up on my single life head to that blog (you should all have it on your Facebook)and this blog I will get to soon. I swear. Be prepared for the longest post yet. Until then, I just wanted to let ya'll know that we are still alive and kickn' :)

Check this out!

2010-12-03T10:30:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I was complaining to my mom that all of my Christmas decorations are ugly and all of my ornaments are ugly. I've had these same ornaments for about six years. And all of my house Christmas decorations are ones that my mom has handed down to me, she gives me a new one every year it seems like. And obviously they aren't very cute if she didn't want them, but I'll take what I can get.

Buying all new Christmas stuff is expensive and I'm not one to buy a few and then wait until next year, I want it all at once. So last weekend I went to Hobby Lobby (love that store) and I bought all new ornaments and my goal this weekend is to buy all new house decorations.

So the other day my mom called me ecstatic because she found me a new Christmas decoration for my house, she could not wait to bring it to me. This is what it was:

Isn't that awesome?! I don't know if I'm more excited about the decoration itself, or the gigantic wine glass! But her friend at work makes these and my mom had her make one for me. My new ornaments that I bought are the red, silver and black ones that you can see in there so it matches my tree. I think it's the coolest thing. I love it! Thanks mom!

So I'm thinking... After Christmas I can take all of those ornaments out of it and just use it as my nightly wine glass lol :)

Who needs a cake?

2010-12-02T10:00:00.000-08:00

I have just the place! Introducing... Rockstar Cakes!

My friends, Lynda and Tianna, make these cakes and I am obsessed with these cakes! I think they are the cutest thing ever! And I'm jealous that they are this creative and crafty, I would never be able to do something like this. I have a hard time just making mac & cheese.

They make cakes for every occasion possible: Weddings, Birthday parties, Christmas parties, Anniversary parties etc. The possibilities for needing one of these cakes is endless, there is always something.

Here is a peek at a few of my favorites:

Aren't those the cutest cakes ever?! I love them! So if you have something coming up and need a cake and don't have time to make one or you don't want to order a boring gross cake from your local grocery store, let me know and I will send you to Lynda and Tianna! You will absolutely love their cakes!

Remembering... Jesse

2010-12-01T13:45:00.000-08:00

I have been sitting here staring at this blog for a few hours now trying to put into words how I feel. I begin to type and then delete it, start to type again and then delete it. I really don't know what to say besides, my heart hurts just as much today as it did a year ago. And I am still waiting for Jesse to knock on my door and say "ha! gotchya!" with that smirk on his face. And then hear him laugh at me while I am screaming at him for playing such a cruel joke. And as much as I hated it when he would laugh at me when I was mad, I would give anything to have on of those moments again.

First thing this morning his mom sent me this text:

Look at this guy! And look at those ears! Oh how I miss those ears! He would always make fun of my nose and say I had a big honker and he had a perfect gumdrop nose, so I would make fun of his ears. I would tell him that we have to make sure this little baby boy doesn't confuse his daddy with the elves at Christmas time :-O I know it's not a very funny comeback, but it worked. I will never forget the day when he came home from the airport and he said "do you know what a lady just said to me at the airport" and I said "what" and he said "she says I have a nose that people pay lots of money to get" and he was so flattered and so proud. And that necklace he is wearing... I worked really hard to buy him that and was so excited to see him always wearing it. I now have it hanging in my room.

On Facebook this morning I was trying to decide which picture to use and unfortunately I don't have very many pictures because they were always taken on Jesse's camera, and his camera is MIA. But out of the few I have this one is my favorite, doesn't it just make your heart melt?

A few Jesse quirks that will always stick with me:

Cereal... He loved cereal, at least at my house he did. I always had to make sure I had a stock of cereal's when he would visit. And he would stand in my kitchen and eat bowl after bowl of cereal, sometimes he would eat so much and would get sick. And then he would come out of the bathroom and say "sweety I don't know why my stomach is so upset" LOL! Still to this day I always make sure I am stocked up on cereal. Oh and he would put ice cubes at the bottom of the cereal bowl, it always grossed me out.

Ramen Noodles... Again, I always made sure I was stocked up. And you couldn't make the noodles too soft or too crunchy, they had to be right in between. And to this day I still always have a stock of Ramen Noodles, and make sure I cook the noodles just right.

Spaghetti... He would only eat my spaghetti with angel hair pasta, picky guy isn't he?! I still always make my spaghetti with angel hair pasta.

Ice cream... He loved ice cream, especially Pistachio flavor. And he would put milk at the bottom of the bowl, I love that he gave me this idea. And I can't count how many times we made a run to Maverick to get a Snicker ice cream bar.

A few memories that always make me laugh, but annoyed me at the same time. But gotta love 'em!

When I was pregnant he would tickle me way too long and I would scream "stop it stop it I'm going to pee my pants" and then I would pee my pants and he would say "gross I can't believe you peed your pants" as if I didn't warn him. And it never stopped him from doing it again and again and again. It would make me so mad! Sometimes he would get Braxton in on it and they would double up and get me real good. Or he would tickle torture Braxton, but at least Braxton never peed his pants lol.

Every time I got up off the couch when I was pregnant he would say "boom boom, boom boom" and I would cry and cry and he would say "oh sweety" but with a smile on his face and a giggle under his breath. And at the time it was not funny, I was pregnant and fat. But after I had Carson I was able to laugh at it.

He was always giving me baby pinches. You know those little pinches when you barely grab any skin and it hurts really bad? Well he loved to torture me with those and it would bug the crap out of me! They especially hurt when I was pregnant and retaining a lot of water, but he would still laugh. Same with coming up behind me and slapping my butt, they weren't love spanks, they HURT!

Every time we would watch a movie I would fall asleep and he would get soooo mad "wake up! I'm not here to hang out by myself" and I would try to keep my eyes open for a little, and then fall right back to sleep. And I would wake up in the middle of the night to a dark living room and all by myself on the couch. Instead of waking me up to go up to bed, he would leave me down there just because he was mad that I fell asleep. But the only reason why I would fall asleep is because we wouldn't start a movie until 9:00 at night and I am not a night person like him, but he would take it personal. But by morning time he always forgave me.

His last Christmas he did all of his shopping on Christmas Eve and he did it all in one place, TJ Max. He bought me a gift card and I can't remember what he bought Braxton. But he bought Carson some pajama's and a Utah Jazz jersey, both in a size SIX! Carson was THREE at the time... I still have both items of clothing waiting for another two years when Carson can wear them. LOL!

He loved to torture Carson just as much. He would grab his baby face and hold it in his hands and kiss him all over for like five minutes. Carson would scream and scream, Jesse would just laugh and keep on going. Meanwhile, I'm standing there not knowing what to do because it was so cute seeing him loving his son so much, but I hated seeing my baby so annoyed. And when he finally finished, Carson would have a red rash on his face for days from Jesse's scruffy face.

He loved taking Carson into the shower with him, but Carson... Not so much. Carson would scream the hardest and loudest cry ever! And instead of trying to hurry and get the shower over with because the baby is so upset, Jesse would take his sweet old time and would repeat "it's okay son" and then sing a little song and was in no hurry at all. Meanwhile, mama is out there cringing because I want to go grab my crying baby boy!

Sometimes he would watch Carson while I went to work and I would always tell him to make sure Carson gets something to eat and would give him a few ideas of what to fix him. So I would come home at lunch and he'd say "Carson ate some apple, string cheese, ramen noodles, some cereal" and would name off a bunch of things. So basically he would make him one thing and Carson would only have a few bites of it so he would make him something else and then something else. I would come home to the biggest mess in the kitchen. Poor kid was being over fed lol.

A few of my greatest memories that I will always miss:

His random "I love Cindy Angell" when I least expected it.

When he would walk in the kitchen and interrupt whatever I was doing and just stare at me while pointing his finger to his cheek or mouth to give him a kiss.

When he said "I love you" after a phone conversation and I would say "love you too" and he would get really mad at me and say "don't EVER say love you too, why can't you say 'I' love you too"

Our rides on his motorcycle, even though I was always scared to death, I still loved them.

The smile on his face when he would try to sleep in and Carson would come in and jump on him and say "daddy"

How excited Braxton would get when Jesse would go outside and play ball with him.

How excited Carson would get when he would see daddy pull up on his motorcycle. Still to this day every motorcycle he sees he says "that's like my daddy's bike"

I could fill up this entire blog with memories and stories of Jesse. I miss this guy so much. I can't believe it has been a year that he passed away. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. My heart still hurts so much... When will it stop? Or will it ever stop?

I miss his face, his cute ears, his gumdrop nose that he was so proud of, his perfectly round head that he was also so proud of, his gorgeous smile, his hairier than hairy body, a personality that I will never find anywhere else, his hugs, his kisses, his pinches, his spanks, his tickles... But most of all I miss, his presence.

We will forever miss you, Jesse. We love you! IIII Love you!!!

Shopped Out!!

2010-11-30T10:31:00.000-08:00

I still have a whole month of Christmas shopping to do and my poor baby is already shopped out. Poor kid. I guess I need to find some babysitters...

Napa Napa Napa!!!

2010-11-29T09:45:00.000-08:00

Okay I am finally getting to this blog post, it took a few weeks, but better late than never!

My trip to Napa that I won was AMAAAAZING! It was filled with fantastic food, great people, fine wine, and awesome bands. I knew it was going to be a great time, but had no idea it was going to be this good. And having my bff (Kara) there made it even better.

The trip was sort of a tour group type of thing with set times for tours, dinners, drinks, and concerts. And I didn't like this idea when I first found out about it because I wanted some free time to take Kara around since she had never been to Napa. But it worked out perfectly because we had set plans, that were fun plans, and then we also had our free time. And this was a "winners" only thing so it wasn't open to the public to purchase tickets. So all of the concerts were a small group and a more intimate concert with the artists.

This Live in the Vineyard happens twice a year, in April and November. And there are three ways to win this exciting trip, your local radio station, Aloft Hotels, and through Live in the Vineyard. I have already put in my name for the next contest in April, I WILL win again lol.

I don't have time, and you don't have time, for me to bore you with every detail of this exciting trip. So I will give you all short stories of the highlights of our trip, and then overload you with pictures. Deal?

I must tell you all about the interesting first day and half we had. Long story short, we wore our sweats to travel in and had a plan to change once we arrived to our hotel in Napa, and then head out to some wineries for the afternoon until we had to be at our dinner/wine party at 5:00 and then the concerts at 7:00... But when we got there our room wasn't ready. No biggie, we went about our day in our sweats and hit some wineries and thought we would head back around 3:00 and our room would be ready by then. Wrong! Our room still wasn't ready, so what should we do? Drink more wine! We sat at the hotel lobby bar and had a few glasses of wine, and after about an hour we started complaining that our room wasn't ready. The hotel then gave us free drinks, not that we needed any at this point. But else are we gonna do, right? So we sat at that bar and drank and drank and drank, in our wonderful sweats. Meanwhile, the pitcher for the Phillies has a wedding going on at this resort. Here we are in our sweats, a little drunk, and there are beautiful people all around us all dressed up for a wedding. Embarrassing I tell ya, embarrassing!

FINALLY at 4:45 our room was ready, 15 minutes before we needed to be all cleaned up and back to the lobby. And we are drunker than drunk. We had been drinking since noon. Not a good thing when you have two hours of twenty five wineries to drink from, people to meet, concerts to watch, and then artists to meet.

That entire night is a big blur. Kara ended up getting sick early in the night and went back to the room. I ended up staying out drinking until midnight, and have little memory of it and little memory of who I was hanging out with etc.

I do remember at one point I found Crystal Bowersox, don't ask me how I found her cause I have no idea. I am a huge American Idol fan and have always been a fan of Crystal, so seeing her was like Christmas morning for a little kid. I don't think I said too much to her, I sat my drunken butt right by her and just stared at her while she continued her conversations with her friend and husband. One thing I do remember was asking her "where are your dreadlocks" and she looked at me and said "they are here just pulled up" and she wasn't very nice about it, I could tell she was annoyed by my drunk ass. But of course I don't realize any of this until the next morning. I hope I didn't say anything else stupid :/

The next morning we were supposed to be to our shuttle at 10:45 to go to some steak place and learn how to cook the perfect steak and taste which wines go with steak. It sounds fun, but we were soooo hungover and sick. I honestly do not remember the last time I was that hungover. I called my mom at 8:00 in the morning in tears because I felt so horrible. But she didn't want to give me her magical mom powers to make me feel better, she had no sympathy at all. Rude mom, rude! So we skipped our steak adventure so we could nurse our hangovers.

By the afternoon we decided to suck it up and get out and enjoy the beautiful day in Napa. So we went to Bounty Hunter, which was a BBQ and brewery place. On the way there Kara had to throw up a few times, but was better by the time we made it there. A little food and we were starting to feel better.

We then went to the local liquor store to get beer thinking a beer would cure our hangover. And it did, for the most part. We were still a little hungover but were not going to miss the evening dinner/wine party and concerts. And we told ourselves that we needed to limit our wine drinking and have a glass of water between each glass of wine.

From there one our trip was fabulous! I'm not saying the first day and half wasn't fabulous, it was more than fabulous. But drinking from noon until midnight is never a good thing, never. So from there on we were able to stay somewhat sober and remember our trip.

Here are some pics:

Our first stop in our cute sweats and what started the drunkness was Hagafen, some cute little winery we found.

We then went Darioush. I think this was one of my favorite wineries. The building was soooo awesome.

The few pictures that were taken on our first drunken night...

And while Kara was passed out and sick in the hotel room and I was out and about, doing who knows what. I did make it to the Zac Brown Band concert. And apparently I found a friend named Mark and we took Kara's pass so he could go to the concert with me. I don't remember Mark. But I did have missed calls and text messages from him the next morning. Silly me...

I am not a country music fan so I have never heard Zac Brown Band, I have only heard of them. But I'll tell ya what, that concert was soooo fun! Mark and I danced the night away.

I really am in this picture, dancing away. You can find me if you look really really hard lol.

We were pretty excited that we had time to get ready the second night, and excited that we were sober and were going to remember the night. We were feeling good and had to take a picture of it lol.

Our first concert that night was Crystal, she was sooo good.

After the concert she came out to socialize. Her guitarist, the one on the far left, saw me and said "Angel"... Which means they remembered me from the night before. Embarrassing! But Crystal laughed about it took a picture with me lol.

The next concert was Hedley. If you have not heard these guys, you need to. They were awesome. And they are cool guys too. We ended up hanging out with them later in the night and ate pizza with them.

Next... James Blunt. Not a huge fan of his, but I like him and he was really good live.

Next... KT Tunstall. Love her! She was my favorite out all of the bands!

We came upon this gentleman and he looked like he would be in a band, but we didn't want to ask because that would be rude and embarrassing if he was in a band and we had never heard of him. So eventually we found out that he is the singer of Runner Runner who we were going to be seeing perform the next day. So we hung out with him for a little bit, he was such a nice guy.

A successful semi sober night and we were able to get up the next morning for our festivities. Which included...

A tour at Miner Vineyard, or maybe it's Miner Family Vineyard? I can't remember. But this was a beautiful winery! They have caves where they store their wine in to age. And not only did they give us wine tasting after wine tasting, but we actually were able to drink wine from a barrell that needed to age another year. Very interesting taste, but still good of course.

After our tour Josh Radin performed in a room in the cave. Amazing!!!

Mr. Miner and one of the tour guides.

After Miner we were taken to the home of Rob and Kat McDonald who are the owners of Girls in the Vineyard. Such a beautiful home!

Kat McDonald, her daughter, and Cutie the white chicken.

Chef Lisa Stavley, I think that's her last name. She promised not to cook up Cutie.

And this is where we saw Runner Runner perform. When I met them the night before I didn't know who they were, but when I heard them sing I ended up knowing some songs from the radio. So I knew some songs, just didn't know them. Another awesome band.

And this is the best highlight of the trip... We were given 3 different kinds of red wine, but didn't know what kind we were given. They were just numbered 1, 2 and 3. And we had to mix the different wines to make our own wine. I know it sounds easy, but it's not. We had measure and write down what 30ml of what wine and what 20ml or 15ml of another kind etc. And we had to make a team name, and since we were at Girls in the Vineyard... Our team name was Girls in the Salt Flats, clever right?

Well guess what??? We won we won we won!!! We won first place of having the best wine mix! Can you believe it?! Our prize was a gold metal, which we failed to take a picture of because we were so excited. And we won A CASE OF WINE!!! It was so awesome! But trying to get that home and smuggle it into Utah, plus all of our other alcohol, was not so fun. But we got all wine and beer home safely :)

A few random pics of cool peeps we met.

This guy makes some gooood beer called Napa Smith. And of course you can't find it in Utah, so we smuggled some home :)

And of course I can't forget the resort we stayed at, Silverado Resort. It was beeeaaauutiful.

So after splitting the case of wine with Kara I ended up coming home with eight bottles of wine and a six pack of beer, that was two weeks ago and all I have left is two bottles of wine... And Utah is so lame and doesn't sale these wines, what am I going to do??? I better get back to Napa again soon!

And I hope and pray that I win again in April!

It's ready!

2010-11-19T13:34:00.001-08:00

Okay I finally have the new single blog up and going, I hope. Well the Twitter thing isn't working but that's okay I just might end up deleting that part. I'm not a fan of Twitter.

SO... Look for your request on Facebook to "Like" my new page, press like, and then follow this fun single life of mine. Or not so fun single life lol.

The scoop on my fun filled weekend in Napa coming soon. Be prepared for a extra extra long blog post.

Hallo-weeny

2010-11-04T17:29:00.001-07:00

I say Halloweeny (or weenie) because I really am not a fan of Halloween. I liked it when I was little when I could dress up like a clown or a witch, but now it's just a contest of how slutty you can look. I don't like all of my lady jewels hanging out. I don't like freezing my butt off going from party to party in this little piece of clothing. I don't care to go out and see everyone act and look like a freak just because they can get away with it one day of the year. I just don't see the point of this so called Holiday. Sorry to be a bahumbug.

I do however enjoy Halloween kid style. I love carving pumpkins with my kids, making pumpkin shaped sugar cookies, buying their costumes, and trick or treating. Luckily I have kids to make this Holiday a little enjoyable. Well one kid, Braxton is "too cool" to trick or treat.

I knew I would be going out with some friends Friday night so I did buy a cute cop costume (and I bought it online instead of running around town for hours looking for one), just in case at the last minute I was forced to dress up. Luckily everyone else was going out Saturday night and dressing up so they didn't want to on Friday. Phew!

Here was our festive Halloween weekend:

Friday night I started the night off throwing a pep rally party for Braxton's football team. And normally I put together a fun game for them to play and then a treat, but with it being so cold and dark, I went with six pizza's and three dozen cookies. The boys loved it!

After that I went out with a few girls that I went to Middle School with, I can't remember the last time we were all together at once. It was sooo fun! We went to dinner, dropped the prego one off, and headed downtown to Gracie's. It was a night full off drinking and laughing. It was so fun!

The girl on the left is one of the bartenders, I assume she is dressed this way for Halloween... You never know around this time of year, another reason why I don't like Halloweeny.

The two Cindy's :) and she is normally blonde too, trader! But her new color looks good.

We were supposed to act like we just found out some shocking news... Come on girls we can do better than that!

And our annoyed looks, again not very good. Actually Lynda's face looks pretty annoyed (the one in the tan)

This guy here was talking with an accent all night, he claims he was from Sweden. Either he really was from Sweden, or he can act one heck of an accent. Another reason why I don't like Halloweeny, you just never know. But I thought I would show how excited I was to have met him and how I loved him lingering around our table all night.

Closing down the bar.

After Gracie's we decided to go Denny's and get some breakfast. Have you ever been to the Denny's downtown? WOW! Is all I have to say. It was more entertaining than the bar. On the way there we watched some gangsters get arrested at the club across the street, one of them ran from the cops and hid right by us. And then we saw a guy passed out and his friends screaming that he had no pulse. Then we had a homeless man following us and mumbling, I am still trying to figure out what he was saying. And once we arrived at Denny's it was a Halloween contest waiting to happen, or maybe some weren't dressed up and that's how they are every day. And when we were finally seated there was a table full of gay men who were dressed as playboy bunnies with one of them being Hugh Hefner. It was quit the show. After all of that I made it home at 4:00 a.m, waaaay passed my bedtime.

Three hours later I got up bright and early to get ready for Braxton's LAST football game. I can't believe another football season has already come and gone. It was a great season and Braxton is getting so good. I love watching him kick butt out there, but hate it when I see someone get hurt. I about have a heart attack every time I see someone down I hate it. But I am looking forward to next year. Here are a few more pics of my soon to be NFL player ;)

After a great winning game and sitting in the cold for three hours, Carson and I proceeded to our Halloween festivities... Homemade chili and good wine at my friend Sarah's, it was delish. And we went trick or treating for a little bit but it was too cold and Carson wanted to go back and play. I was fine with it because I was tired, cold, and really didn't want a bunch of candy sitting on my kitchen counter for me to eat.

Here is my cute little superman.

Carson and his friends, Mia and Gavin

Showing off his muscles... He's so dang cute!

He was extremely confused to see a grown man walk in with the same costume as him. The look on his face was hilarious!

I think we did pretty good on our pumpkins :)

Next... NAPA! I can't wait! And I will be taking my best friend Kara, it will be soo fun!

I WON! I WON!

2010-10-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

When I was in Napa last month I was on the Robert Mondavi tour and the tour guide was telling us that they hold concerts out in the vineyard. The rest of the tour I kept imagining how cool it would be to sit out in the vineyard with some wine and good music playing. How fun would that be?!

I get back from Napa and I'm working away in my office and hear 99.5 advertise a trip they are giving away called "Live in the Vineyards" and I immediately went to their website to enter to win. However, each entry is 100 points and I didn't know about this point stuff or how to get them etc. And I looked up and it said I had 67 points. Bummer.

So after a lot of browsing around my995fm.com I figured out all of the sneaky ways to earn points. I have spent the past few weeks answering trivia question after trivia question, taking survey after survey, clicking on all their links, and playing a lot of games to get as many points as I could. I did this daily, a few times a day, and sometimes up late at night doing this. I was determined to win this contest!

Last Thursday, the 14th, the contest ended at at 11:59 pm. At 11:30 pm I had a total of 2,500 entries and my goal was to get 3,000 entries, but my arm was too tired to keep going. So I settled.

The past week I have not heard a word from 99.5 and I have been soooo mad. I haven't turned on their radio station or anything, I've been pissed! I spent waaaay too much time to not win this trip. So I told myself I would give them a week to call me, if they hadn't, then I was going to write a letter to request the winners name.

But a few hours ago I was walking in my office and hear my cell phone ringing and as I picked it up it was too late. I looked at the number and didn't recognize it. Then my work phone started ringing, and guess who it was? That's right, 99.5 calling me to tell that I WON! I WON! I WON! I WON! WAHOOOOOO!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!

On November 13th I will be going to Napa for three days for concerts in the vineyard, wine and food. Everything is paid for! Can you believe it?! I can't believe that I actually won!

Now the questions is... Who do I take??? I have to let them know by Monday morning and I have no idea who I should take. Hmmmm.

I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED!

New blog in the works...

2010-10-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

Those who have requested the new blog address, I swear I will get back to you soon. The blog is up and running (still a little work needed), but I have decided to take this new blog everywhere... There will be a Facebook page, a Twitter page, and the blog... All linked together. I have been spending hours and hours trying to link them all together, it doesn't sound that hard but it is! I am new to this Twitter stuff, no idea what I'm doing. And Facebook is not working out the way I wanted... I am so frustrated. And while I am trying to figure all of this out, I don't have time to post anything on my new blog lol. And I have a head stuffed with so much stuff I want to say, and I don't have time to spill it to you all lol. SO, I'll get all three of these sites up and running and linked together and when it is all pretty and perfect you will see my e-mail with the blog address and you will see on Facebook to click the "Like" button. Lots of work peeps! I'm stressing myself out!

My new diet!!!

2010-10-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

During the summer I always gain a little weight because I drink more beer than usual. And during football season I gain a little because I don't have time to workout as much, and I can't pass on the nachos and hamburgers at the football games. Oh and the snow cones and candy. I'm weak! And my mom and sister are fabulous cooks and are always cooking up something good, I look forward to Sunday night dinner every week. I love good food and good wine.

But now that summer and football is coming to an end it's time for me to nip in the butt and get back on track to losing weight for next summer.

Here is my new diet plan that a friend gave me, check it out you will love it!

2 scoops of Mediclear (click here to order)

1 cup of blueberries (Costco has a huge bag)

1 cup of unsweetened almond milk (if you want sweetened I'm sure it would be fine)

1 tsp cod liver fish oil (Whole Foods, buy the orange flavored)

Mix all of this together with a little bit of ice in the blender, so good! The Mediclear gives you all of your vitamins etc that you need in one day and it's only $35! AND it adds up to be about 250 calories and it will keep you full all day long! If I do get hungry or feel like munching I keep some fruit or veggies near by and then I have a healthy dinner. That is my daily diet for the next few months, with allowing myself one free day a week to drink what I want and have one treat. That's it. Easy. I'm on my way to weight loss folks!

Introducing....

2010-10-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

My new blog! A blog about my love life and much much more! I am so excited! I wanted Single in SLC, but someone has already taken it. Darn it! So I had to alter it slightly. And it's even better!

And I know I said I wasn't going to do this until January, but what am I waiting for? I still want to take a break from dating and I still plan to, but I'm not going to shut out every man that approaches me. So, I may not go on a ton of dates for a little while but I will get in some, and I need somewhere to write about it and this blog is not the place. And I'm starting out fresh, forget all of the ones I have been talking about. They are outta here, I'm moving on! Clean slate peeps!

So here is the deal, I will no longer mention any men or dating etc on this blog. If you want the 411 you will need to visit the dating blog. And I will not be linking the two blogs together, they have nothing to do with each other. This dating blog is anonymous, my name will not be anywhere on it. I don't want anyone to know it is me, unless I give you the website address. It's not a private blog out on the web because nobody knows who it is, but you! So, if you would like to follow me on this journey please feel free to e-mail me or send me a message on Facebook and I will give you the website address.

angellc@westernagcredit.com or facebook.com/cindymangell

Wish me luck!

Ketchup!

2010-10-05T21:56:00.000-07:00

Ketchup time! Get it, catch up. Hahahaha! Okay so it wasn't that funny that is the oldest joke in the book. But here I am once again catching up on my blogging duties, and oh boy do I have so much to tell you all. Not really, but I'll come up with a few things. And I'll try to make this short and sweet.

First things first... We have a new addition to the family! And no it's not me bringing in the bundle of joy this time, phew! We have been waiting for this little guy to come into this world for many months, and hoping and praying that he is healthy. With my sister's alcholism prior to getting pregnant, and a little bit at the beginning and not knowing she was pregnant, and hopefully not while she was pregnant... We have all been a little worried. And my sis lives in Colorado so it was hard not knowing how things were going over there, we just had to trust what she says.

About a month ago her doctor said that the baby was not growing. I immediately jumped to the conclusion that this is caused from alcohol, panic and anger raged through me and I wanted to catch the first flight out and go beat up my sis. So they were going to schedule delivery shortly after that. A week later when she went back and the baby had grown a little bit. Long story short, they scheduled delivery for this morning. He was a little guy at 4 pounds 3 ounces and 17 1/2 inches long. He is healthy and doing just fine and will be able to go home in four days when my sis does :) I am soooo relieved, this has been a constant worry of mine since March when I found out. Now I just have to cross my fingers that my sis doesn't go back to her old tricks.

And here he is, meet Chance Backes~ fresh out of the oven. I can't wait to meet him in person!

And now on to my reason for not blogging in so long... It's FOOTBALL TIME! From August thru October I'm busy trying to keep up on the daily routines and football four times a week. Fun stuff I tell ya, I get exhausted. But it's fun too. Every Saturday I'm that mom on the sidelines yelling "GO JORDAN" "HIT SOMEBODY BRAX" "WAHOOO" and I pace up and down the sidelines. And every once in awhile I'll notice a few parents looking at me funny. But I'm okay with that I wish they were a little more pumped and enthused. I'm kidding, I'm not that loud. Here are a few pics of Braxton in action, he is #5.

And better late than never, Carson turned 4!!! That was clear back in August, it's old news now.

Carson was lucky enough to have two birthday parties. One with my fam and then a big one at my pool with the fam and friends. Spoiled kid I tell ya. And I won't post too many pics, if you want to see more go to my Facebook.

Look at this face!!! He is sooo excited to blow those candles out! Love it!

And looking at this face, It looks like I did good on his presents lol.

Party #2 at the pool. Look at his face again! This child of mine makes the funniest faces, I think he got that from his dad...

I just love these little girls. To the right of me is Lucy, Carson's girlfriend. And in my lap is Mia, my best friends little girl. They are too cute.

My dad turned the big 6-0, man my parents are getting old it makes me sad. I don't ever want to turn 60! But my dad started saying that he wanted to take a trip without the kids, meaning my kids. Rude huh?! Not really. My mom and dad are always with us and both if not one of the kids usually travels with us, so they don't get a break either lol. So I sent Brax to his dad's and sent Carson to Aunt Meradith's and us adults off to Napa to get wine educated. I'm a wine junky so I have always wanted to go to Napa, I can check that one of my bucket list.

My parents left a day before me and drove to Reno. My sis and brother in law couldn't get away that early, so they flew to Reno and met my parents there. They all stayed there one night and did some gambling. I left the next day and flew into Oakland where my brother picked me up, he lives in Santa Cruz. We then met the rest of the fam in Napa.

Our plan was to go to Napa one day, Sonoma the next day, San Francisco the next day and then drive along the coast and end at my brothers house in Santa Cruz. BUT upon arriving in Napa we quickly learned that all of the wineries close around 5:00!! What the heck?! That's stupid that they close that early, that ruined our whole first day. But I did later find out that it's some Agriculture law or something, and me being in the Ag business you would think I would know that lol, no!

So our first day we bummed around and checked out Napa and were able to get one tasting in at Black Stallion. Again, I'm not going to post too many pics, there is more on Facebook.

Since we didn't get many wineries in the first day we x'd out Sonoma and spent the day in Napa going to winery after winery. I can't document them all. But here is a few of my faves.

Robert Mondavi ~ Such a beautiful winery! We did a full tour at this one, and I highly recommend it. I wanted to go on a tour that showed me how the wine was made, processed, etc. I was there to learn not to drink wine people! Okay not completely true. But this tour started with telling us about the founder of the wine and winery, the history of it, and ended all the way to bottling the wine. It was great.

Look at that family photo! That is so cheesy!

I was even able to go out in the vineyard and taste the different grapes, that was the best part, besides the wine tastings of course.

And the tour ended with a sit down formal wine tasting!

Our next tour was at Sterling Vineyards. The scenery here was prettier than Robert Mondavi because you take the gondola up and then you can overlook vineyards and mountains (hills), it's so green and pretty. But the tour there was a self tour, it was okay. You basically walked through and read whatever you want and go at your own pace, and I just hurried to get to the next wine stand lol.

Look how cute my hippy brother is.

Nothing is more annoying than having someone take a picture of you mid-sentence. They can't wait 2 seconds?! But I have to post this pic so you can see how pretty the background is.

I have a cousin in Napa and a uncle in San Francisco. So after our day of touring we went to my cousins house for a bbq. It was so fun. But I don't have any pics...

A few random Napa pics for fun...

After our wine tasting we went on our way to San Francisco for a few hours. Nothing too exciting... Been there done that. But of course my mom has to take another family portrait with Peir 39 in the background.

After lunch in San Fran and sitting in traffic for an hour. We finally drove along the coast, so beautiful! And made it to my brothers house in Santa Cruz, well it's in the mountains of Santa Cruz which is called Boulder Creek.

My brother moved to Boulder Creek probably a year and a half ago, he didn't know one person, and probably still doesn't know that many. He is totally content being isolated in his little cabin up in the mountains. He does have a few neighbors that he talks to and makes it down to Santa Cruz a few times a week, so at least he gets out a little bit. It's a perfect place for him.

This is his cute little house. It's so so so tiny! But it is so pretty and peaceful there.

This night we had the birthday bash! Opened up one of our many bottles of wine, some good cheese, and cooked up some steaks... So delish and relaxing. Good way to end the trip. Happy 60th Birthday dad!

Before Napa I took a little jaunt with a few girlfriends on a mini vacay to Wendover. I know Wendover isn't much of a get-a-way, but it's close and fun. We vegged at the pool, had a nice dinner, and spent the rest of the night gambling. And I ended up winning a few hundred :) but that is after I sat at the same blackjack table for SIX HOURS!!! What was I thinking?! My friends went to bed and there I was until 6:30 a.m still sitting at the table. I love to gamble, it's not a good thing.

Every time I drive to Wendover I always look at the salt flats and want to check it out, but I never do. So this trip I was finally able to! I know that doesn't sound too exciting, but it was for me lol. And Steph looks just as thrilled.

This pic is about all we got. Darn it.

Lacie's birthday party... And again, no pics. This is about it and it came from who knows who on Facebook lol. But it made it to me. I swear I will be getting a new camera soon!

And the topic you have all been waiting for, my love life. There isn't much love going on here and I like it that way. Remeber my last post I said I was taking a break from dating? Well I have done exactly that, for the most part.

Movester ~ He got the hint and left me alone for awhile and then out of the blue he sent me a text to see how I was doing. Very nice of him to check in. I kept it short and I haven't heard from him since.

Friendly Neighbor ~ Okay this guy was kind of creeping me out. First he left the wine and wine glasses on my porch. I called and left him a message and thanked him. He tried calling a few times after that and thank goodness for voicemail. After he tried that he ended up knocking on my door a few times to see if I wanted to have a glass of wine, every time I acted like I was running out the door. And then when I was in Wendover I came home to a single red rose on my porch. Weird!!! That is a little too much! I like to be showered, but come on that is just creepy! I was so annoyed by this point so I didn't thank him. A few days later he sent me a text... I finally wrote back and told him that I have been seeing someone and we have decided to be exclusive. Phew! That on worked! He hasn't bugged me since besides a wave hi here and there. (I still water my flowers at odd hours just to be safe)

Soulmate ~ I haven't seen him at all, but I do talk to him here and there. He's a nice guy, I'm sure we will hang out some time. But I don't see it going anywhere. I am very picky and there are a few things that I can point out from the get go that I know won't work for me. I would go into detail but then I will sound like a brat and it will set my friends up to give me crap. I think it's good to be picky, but my friends give me crap and say I'm too picky. Here is one example... A few years ago I met this guy on Myspace and we met for a drink one night. He is actually friends with "This Guy", but I didn't know "This Guy" yet. Anyway, we met for a drink and he showed up in levi's and tennis shoes, I'm sorry if it's weird of me, but I didn't like that at all. But that wasn't all, he would talk to me while looking straight ahead instead of looking at me sitting to the left of him. AND I would ask questions about his kids and he wouldn't say much about them and change the conversation, weird! So it's dates like that when my friends give me crap. But I don't care.

This Guy ~ Nothing has changed with him. I don't know what to do with him. I actually have him saved in my phone as "his name - be done!" to remind myself every time he sends me a text or calls me to ignore it and BE DONE! But then I feel bad ignoring him and tell myself to still talk to him, but not see him. That doesn't work either. I have tried everything to get rid of "This Guy" and nothing works, I always find myself thinking about him or with him. And don't get me wrong I like this casual relationship just as much as he does, but you can only have this type of relationship for so long. I have had relationships like this and they never end good, especially when one of you start getting emotionally involved. Which I am. I get excited to talk to him and see him. I get mad when I know he's been flirting away on match.com. I get jealous when he posts something on Facebook and all of these girls comment on it. I hate it and I don't like feeling like that! I have had a casual relationship like this before and it lasted for 5 years. But that guy at least took me to dinner, watched movies together, etc. He would make plans with me. And "This Guy" doesn't do any of that. He will text me on Friday night, or any night actually, at 9:00 and ask what I'm up to. And if I am out and about I will meet up with him, if not then I don't rush out of the house to meet him. But he does check up every day or a few times a week and see how my day is or see how my week was, he's good. The other guys in this sitation didn't do that. They all have their own way of reeling you in.

The truth is as much as I like convenient relationships, this is not how I want to be treated. I like my time away and have my own life, and like that he does too. But when it comes down to it, I want to be seeing someone that has no desire to see what else is out there at the moment because they are all about me and want to see what happens here FIRST, before exploring their options. And I want someone that doesn't have to go to the bar a few times a week with their buddies, instead of hanging out with me. And there is nothing wrong with what "This Guy" is doing, we are just at different places in our lives...

So... it's up to me to either end this asap for good, which will take ignoring him and being strong while doing it. Or I keep going along and hope one day he's done playing around. And if you know me, I won't wait. So, someday soon I will get to the point to where i've had enough and will just cut him out of my life... Until then, here are some cute pics of us :)

And what happened to match.com? My subsription FINALLY ended, I thought those 3 months were never going to end. That was so annoying. I did meet a few potentials on there that I talk to on Facebook and will probably go out with them when I'm ready to date again.

But, here is my plan. By January I think I will be ready to date again and I'm sure "This Guy" will no longer be around, so I am going to do match.com full force. I really mean it this time. I am going to join for 90 days again and go on as many dates a week as possible and then I will blog about it, but it won't be on this blog.... SINGLE IN SLC will be my other blog! It will be strictly for my dating stories and for you entertainment. It's going to be fun! Stay tuned!

Friendly Neighbor

2010-08-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

*Warning* my random dating vents might not make sense to you if you haven't been following from the beginning lol. I just looked at my blog and boy have I been on one lately!

Last Tuesday after I vented about Dave Matthews concert I took my glass of wine and thought I would sit on my porch and enjoy the summer night, I wanted to be alone with my glass of wine and the warm weather. But that didn't happen, the minute I sat on my porch here comes some guy from across the street. I wasn't annoyed, I can be friendly to a neighbor even when I'm wanting to be alone.

But little did I know that this neighbor was coming over to hit on me... After a short introduction about himself, he sat himself down and asked for a glass of wine. Being the nice neighbor I gave him a glass of wine, which led to two more glasses of wine. He would not leave! He stayed for an hour and a half! And of course planning our dinner date for next week, Ugh I was so annoyed! Let me just add that he is 48 and I am 32, enough said right there. So let's call this guy "Friendly Neighbor" lol.

After the Dave Matthews frustration and after "Friendly Neighbor" visit, I decided I am done with this dating stuff for a little bit. Can you blame me?! Look at my last few posts, guys are either annoying me, driving me nuts, or pissing me off. And not only that but football is here and I don't have time for much of anything for the next few months.

So after last Tuesday things have been pretty quiet. "Soul Mate" texted me on Thursday and wanted to hang out that night, but I had my moms birthday party so I couldn't. And I didn't hear from either of them all weekend, until Sunday when "this guy" texted me to see how my weekend was and we chatted for a bit. He told he had to work four days this week, which normally he works a straight 48 hours. So I thought I would ask him what days he was working so that maybe we could get together this week, but he didn't respond. Four hours later he sent me a text "do you have a beer for me", really?! You don't answer my question, and text me four hours later asking for a beer, and it's a Sunday night. And then I got on match.com on Monday night, and "this guy" was online... He is still on there looking for girls. And yes I know I was on there too but I wasn't looking for girls, I was trying to turn off my notification stuff so I stop getting e-mails while I am waiting for my membership to expire, and while on there of course my curiosity was getting the best of me and I had to see if he had been, or was online... And he was... I'm so done! I need to let "this guy" go, things will never change with him.

Back to "friendly neighbor", after his long visit last Tuesday I thought I could avoid him so I wouldn't have to face the date conversation. But, I guess my watering my flowers in the middle of the night so I wouldn't chance running into him and my pulling in the driveway and hurry and close my garage didn't work... On Saturday he put on my doorstep a box of my favorite wine, a box of new wine glasses, and a piece of paper with his name and phone number on it... How sweet is that! And how cute is that! But unfortunately it just annoyed me and put me in a panic because I did not want to call this guy, and did not want to go on a date with him, and did not want to drink this wine with him. If it were a guy that I was interested in, that probably would have swept me off my feet a little.

All day Saturday and all day Sunday I debated about what to do. Should I call him and tell him I'm not interested? Should I put a Thank You card on his doorstep? Should I put the wine and glasses on his doorstep and say thanks but not interested? What to do what to do???

After much thought, I decided to call him. Luckily he didn't answer so I was able to leave him a message and thank him for the wine and glasses. Perfect!

Two hours later he calls me back, I didn't answer. And he didn't leave a message. Perfect! I will just pretend like I didn't see a call from him when I eventually have to face him. Perfect!

The last few days I have continued watering my flowers at odd hours and rushing in and out of my garage when I come and go. In fact I scratched one of my side mirrors on the side of my garage pulling out too fast, pretty bummed out about it. But he hasn't caught me lol... Until last night. He rang my doorbell, blindsided me! He asked if I wanted to have a glass of wine. NO I DON'T, JUST GO AWAY! I didn't tell him that, but I wanted to. I told him I was busy doing dishes, needed to get Braxton from football, and then come home and give Carson a bath. And I was not lying, I really did have to do all of that and it was already 8:10. He then asked if I could a little later. I felt like I was six years old and my friend was at the door asking me if I could come out and play lol. It sucked! So being nice, I told him to call me later and I would see if I could or not. One hour later he called, I told him I couldn't. I hope my story with "friendly neighbor" stops here...

I am over this dating stuff for awhile...

Annoyed!

2010-08-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

Carson is in bed and I am drinking my glass of wine alone since I didn't get to go to Dave Matthews concert, which is fine that "Soul Mate" is throwing his tantrum, I'll let him throw his tantrum and try to punish me. I'm not annoyed about that. I'm annoyed because earlier I was thinking about seeing if "this guy" would want to go to the concert, but I didn't ask him for fear that we would run into "Soul Mate" and I didn't want to be in that situation. But I just got on Facebook and both "Soul Mate" and "this guy" have put in their status that they are at Dave Matthews concert! "this guy" went to the concert! When we were out on Saturday night I told him that I was going to the concert, so when he found out he was going, why didn't he text me when he knew I would be there?! He must be going with another girl. I am mad! Guys suck!

Oh the joys of dating...

2010-08-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

It looks like my blog has turned into a dating blog and I have plenty of other things to blog about like Carson's birthday and Braxton's football, but I still don't have a camera so I have to wait until my mom gets around to sending me pictures. So until then, enjoy my random dating vent sessions.

If you have forgotten which guy is "Movester" and which guy is "this guy" and which guy is "Soul Mate"... Let me remind you.

"Movester" was the guy that my friend lined me up with that I went out with one time and the next thing I know he is planning a weekend camping trip, buying Carson a birthday present, and showing up at Carson's birthday party. He is now out of the picture. He asked me out a few more times, I said I had plans... He finally gave up. But the truth is, I really did have plans. Some guys think I am not interested because I always have to say no, but it is really hard for me sometimes to fit dating into my schedule. Some guys give up too easily like "Movester", but in this case I was glad he gave up easily because I was not interested.

"Soul Mate" is the guy I met on match.com, he is still in the picture.

"this guy" is the one I have been seeing off and on for about a year, and he is still in the picture.

Moving on...

When "Soul Mate" came over last Thursday night we had talked about watching movies on Saturday night when he got off work, and also talked about going to Dave Matthews concert on Tuesday. He is a die hard Dave Matthews fan, I like Dave Matthews, but not as crazy about them like he is.

Anyway, all of our conversations on Saturday were about the concert and trying to get me a ticket. He wanted to get me a ticket by him which is a pit ticket that costs $130, he offered to pay for half of it, but I still wasn't going to spend that on a ticket. Long story short he got me a $130 pit ticket from a friend, so he says... So nice of him to go through extreme measures to get me a ticket to go with him. I was excited and we made a plan for Tuesday, but nothing was brought up about watching movies that night. Yes I could have asked him if he still wanted to watch movies, but a part of me was hoping he wouldn't say anything because I kind of wanted to hang out with "this guy", so I didn't say anything about it.

Evening came and I didn't hear from "Soul Mate", so I made other plans. There was a band I really wanted to go see, so "this guy" and I went. We had a few beers, danced a little, and then had a sleep over at his house. I had such a great time with him. And I know every once in awhile I say that I'm done with him, but there is just something about "this guy" that keeps him around and I'm not sure what it is because the type of relationship we have is not the type of relationship I am looking for at all. We just hang out whenever, never go on dates, and never make a plan to hang out, it's always a last minute thing. And he has made it clear to me that he is not looking for a relationship, or maybe he just doesn't want that with me, who knows. But yet he will text me a few times a week and check in and see how my day is going or how my week was etc. It's really weird. If he is wanting this fling type of relationship with me, then why does he care to know how my day was etc.? It frustrates me, what the hell does he want from me? For the first few months of this relationship it worked for me because I was still waiting around for Jesse. After Jesse passed it took me a few months to hang out with him again. And since then this type of relationship has still worked for me because I wasn't sure how I felt about him and I wasn't looking for anything serious. He still gave me the attention that us girls love, I could hang out with him when it was convenient for me, and could still go do whatever I wanted. It's been perfect. But the past few months I have found myself thinking about him a lot and wanting to see him more... I'm getting a little too emotionally involved in this relationship, so I'm getting to the point to where I need to put an end to this...

Moving on...

"Soul Mate" called me last night asking me what time I would be able to go to the concert tomorrow because he wanted to go at noon, ummm the concert doesn't start until 7:00, why in the world would he want to go that early?! I guess he wanted to be first in line so he could get a standing stop in the pit right up against the stage... That my friends is a die hard fan! I told him I didn't know but was hoping by 4:00 or 5:00, he sounded fine with that. He then asked me what I did last night, Saturday night, the night we were supposed to watch a movie... I was honest with him and told him I went to the bar to watch a band play, and did not tell him who I went with. But his tone of voice immediately changed, "oh okay, I'll let you get back to your kids" he says.

This morning I get a text from "Soul Mate" saying that the ticket his friend was giving him for me to use, is now selling it for $200... Really?! Someone is going to buy that ticket when you can buy the same ticket for $130? Whatever! And after he had been begging me to go for days, he's just going to say sorry and that's it?! I don't believe it, I think he is throwing a little tantrum because I didn't hang out with him on Saturday and now he wants to punish me. Lame! I'm not going to play his little games...

Oh the joys of dating. Stay tuned for more vent sessions.

Soul Mate

2010-08-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

"Soul Mate" came over last night... The night went well. We had a few beers and just hung out, it was nice. There are a few things I like about Soul Mate: I like that he asks me to do something, instead of texting me "what are you doing" at 10:00 like "this guy" does. I like that he is totally fine with coming over and just hanging out since it's hard for me to get a sitter and go out. And most importantly, I like his personality. He is full of personality!

I think I will keep this one around and see where it goes, he seems like a nice guy. We are supposed to watch movies on Saturday night, and next Tuesday he wants me to go to Dave Matthews concert with him... Stay tuned.

Another Update...

2010-08-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

Last week was hectic and busy between work and something going on every night, I was exhausted by Friday. And then Friday night I threw Carson a birthday party and I had friends over late. And then we had to get up super early yesterday morning for football. And then I was running around all day yesterday. I was finally able to shower for the day at 9:00 last night and got the kids to bed and curled up in bed. I couldn't wait to relax and fall asleep to a movie.

9:55 I hear my phone, right when I was just falling asleep. Annoyed, I look at my phone and it's a text from my friend Layne. Phew! I was worried it was going to be "movester", "this guy" or "soul mate" lol. Layne is a good friend of mine and he will check in every once in awhile. So I finish my conversation with him, roll to my other side, and closed my eyes.

10:17 I hear my phone again, just as I was falling asleep. Annoyed, I look at my phone and it's "this guy", can you believe it?! Why is he texting me? I haven't heard from him since Monday when we had our little talk. I thought this thing with him was dunzo. Weird... So our conversation went like this:

this guy - "hey there are you out and about tonight"
me- "no"
this guy - "what the hell lol how was your week?"
me - "busy week & last night I had a big party for Carson, friends stayed late & had to get up early for football & then get kids to warped tour etc., finally in bed"
this guy - "wow sounds like you should be ready for bed! Have a good night"

I left it at that, wasn't in the mood to have a conversation. But of course I wanted to jump out of bed, dry my hair, and throw on some make-up and go meet up with him, but I can't do that. Where would it get me? I told him I didn't want to be that girl and made it clear that it's not going to be like that with me. And he made it clear that is all he is looking for. So it is what it is and I can't change it... So what exactly does he want from me? And what exactly does he want from me on a Saturday night after 10:00? Confused, I tossed and turned for a little bit.

11:00 I hear my phone again, just as I feel asleep for the third time. This time it was "movester" sending me a text, "you doing anything tonight?"... Is he really texting me at 11:00 on a Saturday night to see what my plans are??? I didn't respond.

So I have had it with "this guy" because he just wants me around when it is convenient for him. And I have had it with "movester" because he is getting a little too obsessive, maybe I should change his name to "obesessor" lol.

Hopefully "soul mate" will redeem himself...

Movester

2010-08-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

Do you remember me talking about "movester" in my post yesterday? If not you can refer to my last post, and if you don't feel like going through that big long post, here is a little background... "movester" is the one my friend lined me up with Thursday night, we went on a double date together. And yesterday as I was working on my blog post he sent me a text trying to plan a camping trip for August 27th. That guy.

So yesterday I finished my post and rushed out of work so I could get ready for Carson's birthday party. While I am running around going crazy because I have 25 people coming over in thirty minutes, I get a text from "Movester" telling me that he got the night off and had a little something for Carson and asked if he could come by the party. When we were out on our date I do remember my friend telling him that he should get the night off tomorrow night and come to the swimming party, and I wanted slap her across the head right then, but I let it go knowing he wouldn't be able to come anyway. Well I should have slapped her across the head and I wanted to slap her across the head when I got that text, luckily she wasn't around or else I would have.

Can you believe this guy? We went out on ONE DATE and he first starts planning a camping trip for a few weeks down the road. And then he wants to come by my sons birthday party where all of my friends AND family are going to be. AND you bought my son a present that you met for maybe ten minutes?! This is weird to me! It's nice of him to get Carson a birthday present and nice of him to go out of his way to come to the party. But can we start with going to lunch or dinner next week before we start planning a weekend together and before you start meeting my family, kids, and friends???

So I paced around for a few minutes thinking about how I was going to handle this situation. I decided I should probably call up my friend and let her know that I am frustrated and bugged. And having these conversations with your friend about a guy she lined you up with, is always awkward. But I didn't care. I told her I was bugged about the camping thing and then about him wanting to come to the party. And she said that she invited him to the party and to just think of him as a friend they brought... Really?! You are not going to call him up and get me out of this mess? Nope, she acted like it was no big deal and said that they won't stay long if this bothers me. But did say that if I wasn't interested in him then we should probably let him know. I WAS a little interested and planned on going out with him again to see if I was interested... But now he just blew it.

So she obviously wasn't going to fix this situation and I knew after my conversation with her that he was in fact going to come. So I sent him a text back and told him that would be fine if he wanted to come over and made it clear to him that I probably wouldn't be able to hang out because I would be busy hosting a party. I thought maybe that would give the hint that tonight is not a good night, but no, he said no worries and that he won't stay long. Ugh!

So "movester" did come. With his present for birthday boy in tow. I said maybe ten words to him all night and he left when I was getting ready to do presents and cake.

At dinner the other night a conversation came up about Toy Story and I told him how much Carson likes Toy Story. So not only did he get Carson a Toy Story present, he wrapped it in Toy Story wrapping. Good listener and very thoughtful, but still wrong.

I sent him a text this morning and thanked him for the present and for coming to the party. It was nice of him, but still wrong.

So I don't see myself going out with "movester" again. He ruined it for me. Why do I always find guys that either just want me as a toy, or want to hurry get married and have babies... Why can't I find one in between?

90 Day Match.com Extravaganza Update

2010-08-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

I really suck at this Match.com dating, maybe it's not for me. After talking to friends who have done it I thought it would be fun to do it and if I didn't meet "the one" I at least made some new friends and gave it a try to meet someone. So I was all for it, I filled out all the crap, paid, and told myself to really give it 110%. Let's just say so far I have given it 2%. I try to get into it but when I see the guys that "wink" at me and then read the e-mails, Ugh I get sooo annoyed! Here are some of the e-mails I get:

*Hello
I'm _____ I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and tell you a little about me. I have to say I like what you had to say on your profile and you have the same interests as I do. I'm a great guy with a good attitude on life who has an awesome personality I’m down to earth and not looking for games or one night stands. I consider my self a nice guy and a gentleman that has old fashioned ideals and values. If I catch your interest and you would like to know more feel free to send me a message I think you'll like what I have to offer

*I just read thru your profile and WOW..You sound FUN..OPEN..and HONEST... Looks like we have lots in common and are looking for the same type of things in a person and relationship... I loved the open.. friendly ...warm feeling from your profile..

I would love to know more about cha and hopefully get to chat with ya and definitely meet you soon and see if the Chemistry is there... (if that's not too forward for me).. ;) hope to hear back sooon pretty lady....

*I like that you are to the point. Me, just a guy. I don't brag, wont make fake promises, and know this is just print on your screen. how do we really know until we get to meet. Yes, a little info is needed so you don't have an uncomfortable encounter. Attraction has to be there, but what is attraction. I know we all have our own idea of sexy, pretty, unique beauty etc. So i would be happy if you just took a look and let me know if you are interested. Thank you for reading this.

*Engaged? I'm still working on it.... Heck all I want is the bachelor party and unfortunately that means I have to get married!! So what do u say? Are you in? Lol! Well if you get bored you can use my number but please don't put it in any bathroom stalls. Lol (phone number was here)

*So I have to admit that you have my attention... ;) But fair warning... I am a hopeless romantic and I definitely have a way with words, just try me... lol. I would like to chat and get to know you a little bit better, if you are up for it. No rush though, slow can be good too. ;) Just let me know. Ciao Bella!

*hello how are you was wondering if you are still looking you seem interesting are you these profiles have a weird way of letting you explain who you are really i am looking for a rational and reasonable person to get to know and have fun with i love to laugh and make others laugh too

*you are single and looking , that's always a plus, well i am going just throw this out there, i like what i see, i enjoyed what i read, do want go out for a shake or a smoothie or an ice cream or a ice cold beer, or a flavorful martini, shaved ice, crepes, or maybe just a simple coffee to maybe get to know a wonderful man sometime?
i like road trips! i also like the sun!

The best one so far... This guy felt the need to tell me his whole life story...

*My name is _____, I have been divorced for a little over 2 years now and I am a single father of 3 awesome kids. I'm 35 years young, 6' tall and 250lbs but I carry it well. I work as an IT Engineer for a communications company and I am also an electronics tech in the Navy Reserve. I like my civilian and military jobs as they allow me to travel from time to time. As a matter of fact, the kids and I just got back from deployment to a base in the Midwest back in July of 2009. I am also chipping away at a Computer\Electrical Engineering degree. Aside from the time I spend with the kids, I work out twice a week, I play a few computer games and I am a huge movie buff! I don't get out to social settings as much as I would like to (only once every other week or so) but I am hoping to change that! I am not looking for a mom for the kids, but rather gorgeous woman to share my life with. I am a big believer in the following:

1.) You only live once
2.) What goes around, comes around
3.) What you get out of life is directly related to what you put in

I feel that my strongest qualities are: honesty, intelligence and compassion. I consider myself to be very loyal, fun-loving and I take great pride in the fact that I know how to treat a woman! (apparently lots of other guys fall short on that one)

You really seem like an interesting person and I would like to get to know you. Please check out my profile and if you're interested, hit me back! I'd really like it if you could answer a few questions for me:

1.) How is it that a drop-dead gorgeous woman such as yourself isn't already spoken for?
2.) What kind of movies do you like and please give examples (you can usually tell a lot about a persons character based on what kind of entertainment they like) I hope to hear back soon!

I have received hundreds of these e-mails, and I wish I could put some of the pictures up to show you all... But that wouldn't be very nice. But I go through these e-mails and I am so annoyed! Is there something wrong with me? Or would every girl get annoyed? And these are just the e-mails, I also get "winked" at and if I'm online I get a ton of "IM requests" that start popping up from guys that want to chat right then. So I have ignored all of the e-mails, winks, and IM request, except from two gentleman. Two out of hundreds is a start right? And I have met both of them, and here is the scoop.

The first guy I met for a drink. The entire time all he talked about was golf. How well he golfed that day, where he is golfing tomorrow, and all of his golf trips he has planned this summer and blah blah blah. Golf, golf, and more golf. That's awesome that he has a hobby, I like guys that have hobbies... But if that's all you talk about and if you hardly put hours in at work because of your hobby, not impressed. So I was annoyed and couldn't wait to get out of there. And then five minutes after leaving I get a text from him saying how beautiful I am and he can't wait to see me again etc. Ugh! Annoying! And I know most girls would be flattered, but I wasn't, maybe I'm weird. So he texted me a few times to go out and I was "busy" if you know what I mean. He finally got the hint and left me alone.... A month later I guess he thought he would try again. He texted me and I had deleted him out of my phone so I didn't know who it was, I felt so bad replying with a "who is this", hopefully that really gave him the hint. I don't think he will try again.

The second guy I actually just met last Thursday. My friend and I met him and his friend downtown at the Twilight Concerts that the Gallivan Center puts on. I was really excited to meet this guy. So after an hour of looking for each other, I finally found him because he was staggering through the crowds yelling "cindyyyy cindyyyyy cindyyyyyy", it was hilarious! So I found him and he was soooo drunk! He came up to me and gave me the biggest bear hug, kiss on the cheek, and starts saying that I'm his soul mate... All night he was very touchy feely and kept saying he loves me and that I'm his soul mate. I wasn't annoyed by this it was actually pretty funny because he was so drunk. So he felt really stupid the next day, but I am going to give him a chance to redeem himself. Two days later he asked me if I wanted to go to a drive-in, I haven't been to a drive-in forever! So I told him I would and the plan was to go at 11:00 that night. I went to my friends house that afternoon and didn't end up leaving until 10:30 that night, so I had to cancel on him. Two days later, on Monday, he called to go to lunch. I already had plans with "this guy" to go to lunch, so I had to say no. So there is two times he has asked me out and I had to say no, so he is probably thinking I am not interested. So a few days ago I asked him what his schedule was this week and told him we should try to get together. He tells me that the only night he has off is Friday night and that he already has a date... Really?! Hmmm okay, that's weird. Why would you tell a girl that you are trying to go out with that you are going on a date? We have only been out once so I don't care that he was going on a date, I just think it's weird that he would tell me that he is going on a date? So a few days have gone by and he sent me a text this morning saying that he canceled his date tonight... So, did he really have a date? Or was he mad that I turned down two days with him and he thought he would tell me he had a date to try to make me jealous, or try to get a reaction out of me? Who knows. But I think it's weird. I had plans last night throwing Carson a birthday party, but I didn't tell him, I told him that my date hasn't canceled lol. I hate stupid games and I won't play his games if that's what he is doing, I mostly said that to him to be a smart ass. And besides, I had a lot of dates, I had 25 people coming over so I didn't lie :). So stay tuned and I will keep updated with this guy, we will call him "soul mate"

So, two dates from match.com and I don't see anymore in the future. I really did plan on going on a few dates a week, just to say that I did, and to entertain you guys with dating stories. But I don't have time to go out on a date with someone that I know I will not be interested in, and all the guys on there bug me.

Outside of match.com I still have friends that try to line me up, they have all told me they have given up... But apparently not.

A girlfriend of mine wanted to line me up with a guy that her husband works with. So she had a get together at her house so it would be a casual thing, just how I like it. And this guy was cute and we had one thing in common, we have both dealt with an addict. So he is recently divorced, or going through a divorce, or something because his wife has an addiction problem. Our night began with a few drinks, dinner, and a lot of laughing. It was going great! Then we decided we should play some poker. Date and I went to Wal-Mart to get poker chips and beer, but date doesn't drink beer and was making me buy my own beer. If I am drinking beer and he is drinking hard alchohol, it doesn't matter, he should still buy my choice of drink. So I checked out and bought my beer. Date goes to check out and his debit card is declined. He then tries his credit card, it gets declined. I end up paying for the poker chips. So not only did I have to buy my beer, and to buy the poker chips. He had like $15 on him and he gave me that. The rest of the night we would play a game for a little bit and then I would go outside and socialize with my girlfriends. Date started getting pissed that I wasn't paying attention to him and hanging out with my friends, saying things like "sit down and play the game" and "I came here to hang out with you and you are just hanging out with your friends" and at one point I was sitting out on the deck and he cornered me to get me alone so he could talk to me. For like fifteen minutes I was stuck in the corner with date in talking right in my face and talking about serious stuff. We are on our first date, let's not talk about ex's and religion. So annoying! And I wasn't ignoring him all night I went outside a lot to socialize with people, he could have came out there too... It's a party, you socialize at parties?! Oh, and all night he kept saying how bad he wants a baby and can't wait to have kids, not what I want a guy to tell me on the first date. So a few days later he asked if I wanted to hang out, which was 4th of July weekend. I told him I would let him know. He called me that Saturday while I was at the Riverton festivites visting "this guy" so I didn't answer. Five minutes later he texted me and said "booo"....... Really?! Booo? So the next day I apologized for not letting him know if I could get together and apologized for not calling him back, and told him I have decided to take things a step further with a guy I have been seeing. He has left me alone since besides a little text to say "keep me in mind if things don't work out with him :)", OMG!

Another friend of mine has been wanting to line me up with a guy she works with for awhile now. So last night we went on a double date to dinner. He is a nice guy and last night was really fun... But right now as I am typing this he is texting me asking if I would be interested in going camping and also have our friends that lined us come too. I wrote back and told him that would be fun and asked when he was thinking, and he wants to go on August 27th. Ummm we have only been on ONE DATE and now you are planning a weekend get-a-way together? I'll keep you all updated on this guy too, let's call him "movester" because I feel after one date he is moving a little too fast.

So, while all of this has been going on there has been "this guy" still here. And I know I said in this post that I was done with him, I guess I wasn't. Oh and he thought I was kidding when I said I didn't want to see him anymore, so he continued to text me. And seems that I really like "this guy" I couldn't ignore him... Let me say that again, I really like this guy. I know it's hard to believe that I actually really like a guy, my friends were shocked. Actually, I was shocked. I didn't know I liked him until I found myself always thinking about him and wanting to see him more than usual. So I decided I was going to stop this dating stuff and see where it goes with him. So we were hanging out more than usual, but still in a casual way like we always have. So I started getting a little pissed because I didn't want to be his "booty call" as most people call it, and that's how he was making me feel. And I was on match.com and guess who I see on there... Yes! He is on match.com! I cried and cried when I saw that. And yes I know I don't have room to talk because I'm on there, but I haven't gone through with it, and his account said that he had been logged in within the last 24 hours. I was sooo mad and upset, one of those when you are shaking really bad and don't know what to do. So long story short... On Monday I had a little talk with him, which I have before, letting him know that I'm not going to be his "booty call" girl. He of course thought I was wanting to get serious with him, why do all guys always assume that? I don't want to fall in love, get married, and have babies. But yet I don't want to be somebody's "booty call" either. If I find a guy that I like then I would like to date just him and see where it goes. And after doing this casual thing with him on and off for close to a year now, I felt we needed to have this conversation. So being the typical guy he of course thinks that I am wanting him to settle down with me and he doesn't want to be in a relationship etc. One of those conversations. He was not understanding me at all. I thought he was different from most guys because he had been chasing me for so long, I thought maybe he really liked me and wanted more than just a casual thing. You would think so after chasing me for a year, right?! But I guess I was wrong, I fell for a "player" lol. All he wants to do is hang with his buddies, party, meet girls, and take girls home. Well I am not going to stick around for a guy like that, and I am definitely not going to be that girl. It sucks because I really like him, but that relationship will never go anywhere if that is all he is looking for. Forget him and move on.

There you have my exciting love life. stay tuned to get the latest on "this guy", "soul mate", and "movester".

sUmMeR fUn

2010-07-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

Here I go again, shoving all sorts of events in one blog post. But that's okay, we all know by now that I procrastinate and that I like to do it this way. And before I continue let me remind you that I still don't have a camera, my goal this weekend is to buy a new camera. So lately I have missed out on soooo many pictures because either I couldn't get my phone out fast enough to take the picture or I forgot my phone. Not having a camera really bites and pictures from a phone just aren't the same. Anyway....

4th of July stuff... Carson and I had a full day of fun. First we went to the Sandy City festivities which was full of bouncy balloon things you jump, rock climb wall, police cars to get in etc... and yummy junk food of course.

Carson elbowed his way into the life flight helicopter and knocked over a few kids it was great, that's my boy. (kidding)

You gotta have cotton candy when you go to these things, although I didn't get any, Carson ate it all! I went through a half a thing of wipes to get him clean. (I'm still craving cotton candy)

After our 3 hour visit to the Sandy festivities, we weren't done yet... I received a text from my fireman friend, the one I talked about here, let's stick to "this guy" as his name. Anyway, he was telling me to come to the River City festivities because he was there working, I'm such a sucker. But for the record, I didn't go there just see him. I wanted to take Carson to a real carnival and I have never been to the River City one. And let me tell you, it was SO SO SO SO fun! They had better rides there for little kids than Lagoon does. We spent another 4 hours there, it was a long long fun filled day. (I will fill you all in on "this guy" situation next blog post)

Carson gets in this car and then 3 little girls get in, he looked over his shoulder and says "are you ready girls, I'm driving" it was so cute.

We also went to a Bees game over the 4th of July weekend, it's turned into a tradition. We took Trax or as Carson says "the city train" to the game, Carson loves the city train. And he was such a gentleman trying to protect his girlfriend, yes Carson has a girlfriend. Meet Lucy...

Aren't they so cute?! Lucy is my sisters step-daughters daughter lol does that make sense? So it's my step-nieces daughter lol. Anyway, Carson love love loves Lucy, he gets sooo excited every time I tell him we are going to see her. But when we were waiting to get on the city train he had one hand in front of her and one hand behind her to make sure she didn't get too close to the train tracks, it was sooo cute and I'm bummed I don't have a picture of it. They are so cute when they are together, the family really thinks they are in love.

I think I get this same picture every year, o'well it's too cute.

The weekend after the 4th I shipped Carson to Idaho Falls so he could spend some time with Jesse's family and Braxton and I headed to Jackson Hole for a few days with my mom, dad, sister and brother-in-law. It was so fun. And I don't have very many pictures because not only do I not have a camera, but the lens on my moms camera broke while we were there, bummer. So don't mind the lens showing on the sides of some pictures.

We went to the Tetans and hiked up to Hidden Falls, so pretty.

And the good 'ol Cowboy Bar, you can't go to Jackson and not go to the Cowboy Bar. But let's talk about cowboys for a minute...

When I was 17 my mom had her cards read and the card reader told her that I would get married once, have six kids and a ranch, wow! So I have always remembered that.

Three years ago when I started doing Agriculture loans I was a little nervous because I thought it was a sign, I'm going to meet my cowboy working at this place. And I don't want a cowboy, that's not my style. But I like all of my cowboy loan officers and really enjoy working with farmers, but that's it. So my boss is always teasing me and always says he is going to find me a nice country boy cowboy, it's a joke here in the office.

So we are at the Cowboy Bar and I can see that this cowboy keeps looking at me, and I'm sitting at the bar wondering how I'm going to get myself out of the conversation when he comes over... The next thing I know this cowboy and his friends are buying me and my sister beer after beer. And the next thing I know this cowboy tries to lay one on me, in the middle of the bar, he pulls in for a kiss. Really?! Gross! Luckily I have quick reflexes and was able to stop him real real quick. So after that I was bugged. And then after several beers and wine, my sister kept telling me how cute this cowboy is and that she knows that I am destined to be with a cowboy and blah blah blah, that's all I heard the rest of the night. It was pretty funny though. And she's wrong, I am not destined to be with a cowboy.

This is the cowboy that my sister thought was so cute and thinks I should give him a chance... He is from Evanston, Wyoming. Take a good look at his shirt, classy! I haven't returned his call...

In Jackson we stayed at The Cowboy Village which is little individual cabins, they are so cute and fun. And as we were getting ready to leave my mom panics because we didn't get a picture in front of the cabins, you can tell how thrilled we were for this picture...

After Jackson the fam went on their way to Yellowstone and me and Braxton went to Idaho Falls to see Carson and the Collard fam.

While we were gone Carson was having his own fun with his cousins and the giant waterslide Grammy rented.

And one of the main reasons why I wanted to go to Idaho Falls was to visit Jese's grave. I have been so anxious to get to his grave, I have been impatiently waiting for months. I can't explain why I have been so anxious, I just feel like I needed to get there.

His parents just got his headstone, it looks soooo good! My heart melts every time I see that picture of him.

And Carson was being so cute and saying some strang things. When we pulled up to the cemetery he started yelling "this is where my daddy lives, this is where my daddy lives" and the weird thing is he has never been to Jesse's grave, at the funeral I left him in the car because it was so cold.

Once he got to the grave he would not leave it's site, I had to pull him off so we could take pictures. And he kept yelling to everyone "this is my daddy" as he's pointing to his picture. He was so happy and so proud to show us all.

And the other weird thing was he looked up at me and Vanessa, Jesse's sister, and said "my daddy's in the tree" hmmmm you never know he very well could have been...

It took everything I had to hold back my tears. I feel like I have to be strong in front of the boys, I don't want them to see me cry, I don't know why. Maybe it's because right after Jesse passed Carson would see me cry and say "my daddy died, but your not sad mommy and i'm not sad" so since he started saying that it made me feel like he didn't want me to be sad and I didn't want to make him sad. So I just talk happy about his dad instead of crying. But it's hard to be strong because Jesse comes up daily. Either Carson is telling some random person in the store that his daddy died, or now he's pointing to every cemetery we pass saying that's where his daddy lives, and lately he's been carrying around the baseball that Jesse left for him. There is always something that comes up every day. And not only that, I look at Carson and think of Jesse. He's a mini Jesse. It's so sad and makes my heart hurt so much.

Before we left Idaho Falls I took Carson to the store to pick out some flowers and visit his grave one more time. And I was trying to get Carson to pick out some flowers in a pot that we could sit on the grave, but no he wanted the flowers that you would put in a vase. That's what he wanted and I wasn't going to argue with him. So I let him decorate his grave with the flowers he picked out. He did a good job, doesn't it look cute?!

It felt so good go back again and have some time to sit at the grave for a little bit. I felt so close to him. I can't wait to go back, hopefully I make it there again before winter comes.

After we took our jaunt to Idaho Falls and my fam took their jaunt to Yellowstone, we met in Bear World. And again I got teary eyed, the only other time I have been to Bear World was May 2006 when Jesse took Braxton and I there for Mother's Day. Good old memories came over me when we pulled up. But it was super fun!

We took the safari tour where they let you feed the bears donuts and bread. The bear sit there and beg like a dog or put their paws up on the truck. It is so fun.

Blogger... Sucks!

2010-07-02T09:17:00.000-07:00

What in the world is wrong with blogger? I get so frustrated every time I blog because blogger is always changing things and then nothing works right for me.

Lately it won't upload a picture, you have to do it two or three times. And when I look at my blog all of the paragraphs are scattered everywhere and not in the right spot. And I changed my background, but yet can't change any colors or font... Ugh I'm so annoyed!

SO, I fixed everything and looking at it from my work computer it looks just fine. When I look at it from my home computer it is all muffed up. Hopefully it looks normal for you peeps, if not I'm sorry...

I was going to post another blog, but I'm too frustrated. I'll try again next week and hopefully blogger is cooperating :)

I so brave!

2010-07-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

Carson had his first dentist visit, finally. I have been paying for dental insurance for him for almost two years and have not taken him in because I know he would freak out, getting his hair cut is bad enough. But he actually did soooo good! No crying or anything! And no cavities and perfect teeth :)

Carson has never liked swimming that much which was nice because I never had to worry about him jumping in the pool. I see other kids that have to be watched every second because they have no fear and will just jump in, but not Carson he will just sit on the stairs. But this summer he's not so scared and loves it. So it was time to put him in swim lessons. And between work and vacations I had to squeeze in his first lesson and do it every night Monday through Thursday for two weeks, it was exhausting!

The last day of lessons the kids were able to have some fun and go down the water slide and go off the diving board, Carson did so good! He is such a ma ma's boy and scared to do anything so I thought for sure I would be standing at the top of the slide pushing him down, but nope "I so brave" he says and kept going down the slide and off the diving board over and over again.

My little ma ma's boy is getting so big and so brave, it makes me sad to see him as a little boy now and not a toddler. But he puts the biggest smile on my face when he says "I so big and I so brave" he is so stinkin cute!

Introducing... 90 Day Match.com Extravaganza

2010-06-14T13:35:00.000-07:00

Wow two blog posts in one week, what has come over me?!

Before I get to the plot of this post, I have to back up a little... (I will make this short, promise)

A few months ago I found out that a friend had a new boyfriend, guess where she met him? Match.com! I was shocked to hear that this friend took her dating to the hands of the Internet. I always hear of people meeting online and my mom is constantly bugging me to do it, "NO WAY" is what I always tell my mom.

So I ran into that friend one night and was able to meet her new boyfriend, they are really cute together. It was definitely a match! And being the curious person that I am, I couldn't help but ask all the details of this Internet matchmaker. How long were you on Match.com? How many dates did you go on to finally find one you like? Did you really join and pay money just to meet a guy? I'm sure she was annoyed lol.

A few days later a different friend came to me and told me that she is going to join Match.com and that I should join too. I have always been close-minded to this Internet dating stuff, and nothing was going to change my mind. BUT, after talking to her I was starting to see that it may not be a bad idea, what do I have to lose? I have been hanging out with the same group of friends for years and never meet anyone new. I love to meet new people. So if nothing else I will meet some cool guy friends out of it. Right?

So about a month ago, I joined. Two days later, I cancelled. I was soooo annoyed by all the winks, chat requests, stupid messages etc. It was just how I pictured it would be. But believe it or not I did meet one guy for drinks one night, this way nobody could tell me that I didn't give it a chance. He was a nice guy, but not my type. That was enough of Match.com and I am DONE!

Saturday night I met some friends from school for dinner and drinks. I'm talking to one of them asking if she is dating someone and she said she wasn't but was on Match.com... "OMG REALLY?! Why is everyone on this thing?!" is all I could say. She proceeds to tell me that she has seen some really good guys on there and that she has been on a few dates herself. And told me her really good friend met someone on there. And I told her how I joined and two days later cancelled and that I went on one date. And of coarse she is asking why I cancelled and I told her what I was getting on there etc. She then looked at me and said "Cindy, you have to be proactive and search for guys and you need to give it 90 days. And besides, what choice do we have at this point?" I was not happy with that little pep talk, "WHAT? WHAT CHOICE DO WE HAVE? ARE YOU TELLING ME WE ARE GETTING OLD? I HAVE PLENTY OF CHOICES AND ONE CHOICE IS TO STAY SINGLE FOREVER" and we both laughed about it. (but I was still a little offended).

So long story short, I am joining Match.com again. So here is the deal... I am going to join for 90 days. I will be proactive and "search" for guys, and I will go on dates. I am going to be open-minded. And along the way I am going to blog about every date that I go on and share it with all of you. And sometimes I might even blog about some of the e-mails I get. This is going to be fun!

Stay tuned for my first update of 90 Day Match.com Extravaganza!

blah blah blah

2010-06-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

I have received several text messages and Facebook messages from people telling me I need to update my blog, I know that people! I'm a little busy! I didn't know my life was so interesting and that I have so many blog fans lol, kidding. I really do try to keep up on this blog stuff (I know I always say that) but the only time I have to blog is at work, when I have time, and I've been busy lately. So when I go this long without blogging I try to squeeze in a month full of excitement in this little box and it turns out to be a page long blog and a bunch of blah blah blah, but this one is going to be the best blah blah blah random blog so far!

First topic of this blog, dating! Oh the joys of dating! I always hear married women say that they love being married and love their husbands, but miss the excitement of dating... Am I missing something? The only excitement I have found is telling my friends all of my dating stories and laughing about them, which is fun, but having to experience those dates is not fun for me. And then having to blow off the guy is almost just as bad as the date.

I went on several dates throughout my relationship with Jesse, not because I wanted to, but because I had to. Either we told each other we should date other people, or we would do it to make each other mad and get a reaction out of each other. We were so mature. The minute he would find out I was seeing someone, he would freak out. The minute I would find out he was seeing someone, I would freak out. I loved to see him in a panic and jealous and the best is when he would act like he didn't care.

Anyway, I won't go on and on with date stories but I have one that I like to tell everyone about... A friend set me up on a blind date, enough said right there right lol. Date picked me up and took me to Tuscany, a really nice and good restaurant in Cottonwood Heights. We get to the restaurant and while waiting for a table we sat in the bar, why didn't he make reservations? So we walk in the bar and there is his friend and girlfriend waiting for us, hmmm we are meeting your friend for drinks? We sat with his friend for an hour while we waited for our table! Table came available, left friend at bar, food was delicious... But he talked about his soon-to-be-ex-wife the ENTIRE dinner, and how she is trying to screw him over and take everything. Dinner finally ends and we went up to the Canyon Inn to have drinks with the people that lined us up. After about 15 minutes of being at the bar a much older man came up to me and told me how beautiful I was. Date freaked out and started punching this older man, date gets kicked out of the bar. Luckily my friend was there to take me home. Haven't talked to date since and last I heard soon-to-be-ex-wife took everything and date is broke.

On to the most current. I met this guy probably about two years ago on Myspace, back when Myspace was cool lol. We would talk here and there on Myspace for about a year and then finally exchanged numbers. Last August we decided it was time to finally meet in person, so we met for drinks one night. Drinks were good, I kinda liked the guy. But there has been a lot of guys that I "kinda" liked, but I always left it that and wouldn't go any further because I knew Jesse was going to get better and would be back soon. The last note Jesse left on my door last August still gave me that hope that he would soon be better. So this guy and any other guy I went out with I never made it a priority to see them again, unless I had nothing better to do. I know that sounds bad, but it's the truth.

The next few months this guy would text me several times a week, sometimes just to say hi, and sometimes asking to hang out. From August to December 1st I hung out with him a few times, which was a huge step for me.

Three days before Jesse passed away, this guy and I got a little romantically involved, I guess that's the way to put it. When I received that phone call from Jesse's mom, I was over the toilet dry heaving, I was so devastated and so sick to my stomach. There are obviously many reasons for me to be upset, but back to this guy... The one time I decide to give this guy a chance, and three days later look what happens! I felt horrible that I had been with this guy when Jesse was so sick, instead of being there trying to help Jesse.

All sorts of stuff was going on with me, my brain, my heart etc. I just could not see this guy after that. I made him aware of what happened and what was going on, and he seemed fine with it. But for months and months he would still text me a few times a week asking if I wanted to go get a drink or ask me if I wanted to watch a movie etc, and I would always say no. Most guys will try a few times and either give up or say "fine well you just let me know when you have time" and I usually get so annoyed that I end up avoiding the guy completely until they go away. But not this guy, he would never get mad and would just keep trying. And for some reason I never got annoyed by it.

After several months of this guy trying week after week, I've decided that I kind of like this guy, and I'm flattered that he has been so patient with me... So maybe I should give him a chance. So I invited him to my Birthday party which was the beginning of May. He came to my party, but also planned his graduation party for the same night, at the same bar as my party. That's great that we can celebrate both, but what if my party was somewhere else, was he not going to come celebrate my Birthday? I still wonder but have let it go.

A few weeks later my kids were going out of town with my parents and this guy was going to be working all weekend that I didn't have my kids. I was bummed so I planned a night for us to hang out the night before my kids left and before he went to work for the weekend. He called me that day and said that he has decided to go to Vegas, and pretty much we will hang out some other time. Ugh! I was so annoyed, but whatever.

A few weeks later was Memorial weekend, again I don't have my kids. I told him I didn't have my kids and that I was "thinking about" going to Moab and he said he was supposed to go Vegas, but isn't anymore. So a week before Memorial I told him again I didn't have my kids, and he said he was going to Vegas. Ugh! I was so annoyed again! He always asks to hang out and the two chances he has he goes to Vegas instead?!

Last Friday night I had a Birthday party to go to for one of my really good friends and it was just girls invited. He happened to have that night off too. So I went to my party for a few hours and then left the party and all of my girlfriends to go hang out with him. Again, a huge step for me. The next night I asked him if he wanted to come over and watch a movie or go hang out at my pool, "I already have plans with my friends" he says. Really? I just ditched my friends the night before to hang out with him, but he can't do the same and would rather hang out with his friends???

SO my point of this story is, I have been talking to this guy and hanging out with him on and off for a few years. He is always asking to hang out. And now that I'm a little twitterpated and ready to hang out, he pulls this crap. If I am going to have a guy in my life I want him to be able to go out and have a good time, but yet likes vegging and watching movies too. I'm not into partying every week, and it seems that he is. Which is fine, he is single and doesn't have kids, but that is not my lifestyle. So a few days ago I decided to put an end to this. Even though I was kind of liking him and thinking I might give this a chance and see where it goes, it's probably best to stop here. But this is the first week in a really long time that I have not received a text from him... It's weird and kind of makes me sad.

Dating sucks!

On to the next... My Birthday!!! Yes I am now 32, I wish I could freeze time right now, this is the oldest I ever want to get. If only that was possible.

My Birthday party this year was at Gracie's, my favorite bar downtown. It was a lot of fun but most of my friends had dinner and then left with their hubbies, it shows that we are getting old and can't party like we used to. Here are a few pics but none of the guy that I just went on a tangent about above because they were drunk pictures in the cab that nobody needs to see lol. So here are a few with friends, my camera has been broken for awhile so I have been depending on other people to capture my moments... Hopefully I get a new one soon, I hate not having a camera!

>

Next, Moab! A bunch of us went to Moab for Memorial, it was a much needed vacay for me. It felt so good to be out in the middle of nowhere with no phone service and no worries. I wish I could do this once a month. And Moab is so beautiful, I love it there! I love to camp, hike, hang out with friends, drink a lot of beer, and eat good food... So it was a perfect vacay!

The first night there were a bunch of random people camping with us that we didn't know, friends of friends of friends. So our group of friends hiked up to this cave and built a fire and hung out. After I went with three of my guy friends on a night hike, it was the best part of my trip. It was soooo fun, I wish I had more pictures. Looking back it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do in the middle of the night, drinking, and not knowing where we were. But it was fun and we made it back to camp several hours later safe and sound.

The next day we hiked up to this waterfall where you could jump off cliffs or slide down rocks into the water. So fun.

>

Once we got there I had to stop, look around, and take it all in... Awww it felt so good.

The best part of the hike was watching Scott help Sean cross all of the rivers, it was hilarious! What a good friend lol.

While I was in Moab Carson spent the weekend with Jesse's family. He gets so excited to go to Aunt Meradith's house, "I go to Meradith house" he says. But only if you could hear him say it, it's sooo dang cute. Thank you Meradith, Jason, Grammy and Pappa for taking Carson.

Meradith sent me these pictures of their weekend and I must share them, Carson is so cute with cousin Lucy. He just loves her so much.

The Collard family is so wonderful, I am so excited that we now have this family that we inherited through Jesse. It just somtimes makes me sad that we get to enjoy them and their company, and Jesse no longer does. He loved his family more than anything so sometimes when I am with them I feel sad because it's not fair that I get to and he can't. And in the past whenever I did see his family it was always with him, so I usually come home in tears and in anger that he should been doing this with me. It's hard to explain. But considering that last year of Jesse's life and our relationship I am happy that we still have a good relationship with his family and so glad Carson is getting to know his family. Thanks Collard's we love you guys!

My BFF

2010-04-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out"

"Friends are kisses blown to us by angels"

"A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart"

"A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself"

"A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have"

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend"

"If you should die before me, ask if you can bring a friend"

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I would be at the bottom to catch them"

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say"

"Promise you won't forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave"

"A true friend is someone who knows there's something wrong even when you have the biggest smile on your face"

(I still had my prego chubbiness, don't laugh)

(Being orange was cool back then, don't judge)

I met my bff, Kara, about 8 years ago through a mutual friend, Jacquie. And what started as a single mothers and just want to party friendship, turned into a life long friendship. We have been friends through our party days, through our boyfriend days, through losing friend days, through our giving birth days, and now today our settle down with a glass of wine and watch the kids play days. We have been friends for a long time and have soooo many good memories and have been through a lot... But the past 8 months we have become closer than we have ever been.

About 8 months ago I was having troubles with one of our girlfriends, who I was really really good friends with. I went to Kara first to get her opinion on the situation before going to our other girlfriends. She listened to me, voiced her opinion, and gave me her advice. Just what I was looking for. And since that conversation she has stood by me through this difficult time with our friends, while others walked away. I was so hurt and so lost, and Kara was there with me and there for me.

A few months after that, Jesse passed away. That night she was on my doorstep with a bottle of wine ready to give me her shoulder. And actually there wasn't much tears that night, she made me laugh and helped me forget all about it for a few hours. When it came time for me to head North for the funeral, she was ready to go with me. She left her little cherub home for the first time, left her fiance behind, and took time off work. Words cannot express how much it meant to me that she was there and did everything she could to make sure she could be there for me. She has been here for me through every step of this healing process.

And then came the time for new boobs, and again Kara was there. She came to my surgery at 6:45 a.m on a Thursday morning with her words of encouragement and opinion on size lol.

All of these years I have had this friend and even though I loved this friend with all my heart, I never knew how good of a friend she was and how lucky I was until I was going through these rough times. These may not seem like rough times to some people, but losing 3 good friends and Jesse was very very hard for me. If Kara hadn't been there for me, I honestly don't know how strong I would be today. She has been here every step of the way. I don't know what I would do without her.

So this post is dedicated to my bff Kara...

I love love love you and I want to thank you for always being there for me and being such a good friend to me. I hope one day I can be there for you the way you have been there for me, and I hope I do it as good as you lol. And I want you to know that no matter what happens in the future and no matter what happens with all of the other girls, our friendship will never change and no one will ever come between it. I look forward to many many more years ahead and I know that our friendship will always keep getting stronger. I love you and cherish your friendship more than you will ever know. I am so lucky to have a friend like you.

"A circle is round it has no end, that's how long I want to be your friend"

XOXO

I'm baaack!

2010-03-31T07:38:00.001-07:00

Every time I blog I tell myself that I'm going to keep up on my blogging and blog at least once a week, but the days and weeks just fly by I tell ya. I suck at this blogging stuff.

First thing first... I officially have a teenager! I am only 31 how can I have a teenager?! (Well I know how, but you know what I mean) I just can't believe that my first born is already 13. Someone please tell me I don't look old enough to have a 13 year old, even if you think I do look old enough, then lie to me. I need to hear it.

Anyway, Braxton turned 13 years old on March 15th. I am dreading the teenager stage, I know he is not going to make my life easy. Since he was 5 he has been into girls, clothes, hair and friends. And now that he is in middle school it's getting worse. He is always always always on his phone texting and come Thursday he is making his weekend plans. They usually go snowboarding or meet up at Classic Skating, the skate park, or the mall. Those places are harmless right? Well I recently figured out that they don't go to Classic Skating to put on roller skates and skate around in circles... They meet their girlfriends there. And they don't go to the mall to "shop" they go to the mall to meet girls, or meet their girlfriends there. I'm not a dummy, I know what he's up to... Football is a few months aways and he won't have time for this social life he has going on :)

He may be into his social life and appearance, but (get ready for some bragging) he is a good kid too. He has straight A's at school, which is the most important. He is such a good big brother, Carson loves him so much and they have so much fun together. And he is the man in our house, he helps me out sooo much. He gives me some attitude here and there but overall he is such a good kid. Love ya Brax.

We didn't do much for his Birthday this year because it was his dad's year to do the Birthday party stuff. So we had a family party at my moms the day before his birthday. My brother happened to be in town so he was able to celebrate with us. And then on the night of his birthday we went to Tsunami for some sushi. And for his birthday he got the new IPod touch, that thing is amazing! I might need to go get me one :)

Topped the Birthday night off relaxing on the couch with his little brother, so cute.

Three days after Braxton's birthday I had surgery. A surgery that I have wanted since I had Braxton... a boob job/new knockers/new set of twins/new addition/breast augmentation, whatever you would like to call it lol. And let me tell you, it hurts like a motha! It will be 2 weeks tomorrow since I had it done and I still hurt, definitely not hurting as bad as I was, but I still have some pain and discomfort. So was worth it? YES! If you would've asked me 2 weeks ago, NO!

Last Saturday, a little over a week since I had surgery, I felt I was ready to get out. I planned on just going out for a little bit to see some girlfriends and have a few glasses of wine, but that didn't happen. We ended up drinking waaay more than planned and ended up on the dance floor and staying out until the weee hours of the morning. Sunday I was hurting really really bad, it was a little too soon for me to be partying like a rockstar. But it was fun.

And sorry but I won't be posting any before and after pics of my breasts... This is as close as you get.

Drunk girls being dorks lol.

Nut'n much here

2010-02-25T08:09:00.000-08:00

I have pulled up my blog several times the past few weeks with every intention to post something, but I just have so much to tell you all and haven't had the time sit down and type it all out. And I know you are all impatiently waiting to hear from me ;)

Truth is... I got noth'n! This Angell household has been uneventful lately. I have been off in my own little world and haven't felt like doing much. I go to work every day and look forward to 5:00 so I can get the kids picked up and get home and snuggle in. Some might say I'm getting old, some might say I'm depressed, and some might say I'm lazy. But that's okay. I have been bummed out the past few months so this lack of motivation and socializing works for me right now... And I haven't turned into a complete hermit. I have been out to dinner a few times with family and with friends. And I have been to a few movies. And I have taken several trips to Target and Harmons. So see, I do get out lol.

Last Saturday night I actually went to Liquid Joe's with some girls I went to middle school and high school with. I haven't seen these girls in a long long time. It was so fun! And to top it off the Spazmatics were playing, if you are not familiar with the Spazmatics let me just tell you... This band dresses like revenge of the nerds, they get totally decked out. It's hilarious! And they play all of our favorite hits of the 80's and 90's. Fun times! A few pics...

And the kids? Well you know, talking back to me, throwing tantrums, bickering at each other, and testing my patience every chance they get. Our house is chaos! It's a good thing I have a DVR and can pause and rewind my shows. Here is a few examples of a regular night in our home... Poor Chopper. The kids are always taking his toys away from him and always tie things to leash just to bug and tease him... And this is actually mild compared to what it usually is, usually there is screaming and barking mixed in with all of this.

I put a T.V in Carson's room and bought him a Vtech, which is like a Xbox for little kids, It's really cool. But I bought him this Vtech because he always likes to watch Braxton play XBox. But when I walked in his room the other day I found him yelling at his video game, just like Braxton does... He likes to follow his big brother...

That's about all that has been going on with us... Nothing too exciting...

New Hobby

2010-01-16T09:35:00.000-08:00

I am always looking for things to do to entertain myself when I'm home. Carson is a couch potato and watches episodes of Caillou over and over. Braxton is usually texting, playing on Facebook or playing video games. Or both of them and the dog are running around the house tormenting each other. So a lot of the time I am on my own. If I'm not cleaning or doing laundry, I usually pull out a puzzle or read a book.

But now I have these cute interchangeable watches to make. I'm sure most of you have already seen these... If you haven't, then you are going to think I am the most creative and craftiest girl ever lol!

I came across these watches in October and fell in love with them. So instead of purchasing one from someone, I decided to figure out how to make them myself. I signed up for some classes at The Bead Fairy and this has been an addiction ever since. It's something I can do while I am at home with the kids, I thought it would make great gifts, and I always have a cute watch to wear.

After I gave a few away as gifts, the next thing I knew I had people calling me to order some. So what started out as a hobby has now turned into a little business for myself. I don't go out of my way to try to sell them and list them on Etsy or anything, I don't have the time to make that many. I just make them for people that are referred to me.

I keep forgetting to take pictures of them before I sell them. So before any of these sell I wanted to give you all a sneak peek.

The watch faces are $10 and the watch bands are $20. If anyone wants one I will be happy to make one for you in whatever color you would like.

My next hobby is going to be taking more jewelry classes, I want to make necklaces and earings.

Watches faces come in every color you can think of. I usually just go with black, silver and brown. But I can order any color.

ThE HoLiDaYs

2010-01-04T09:14:00.000-08:00

Another Christmas come and gone... Why can't it be Christmas once a month? Wouldn't that be awesome?! I'm kidding! That would be waaay too much. I love Christmas, but I will admit, I am happy when it's over. I like to be busy, I like the parties, and I love hanging out with family and friends... But I look forward to January when I can relax and get organized.

The boys had a great Christmas and both got spoiled. Since Braxton has taste for expensive things, he had very few presents to open. And Carson was overwhelmed with all of the presents he had to open. Every time he opened a present he said "OH BOYYY" so cute!

I think Braxton is smiling about the girl on the box rather than the new T.V.

My parents still get us kids stockings and presents that say from "Santa" ha ha. Every year we get spoiled like we are still little kids, it's crazy. There are grandkids now so there is no need to spoil us kids, and them. So we put a stop to that last year. BUT I will not go without my stocking! I am 31 years old and every Christmas I look forward to my stocking, it has the best stuff in it! Look at those! I love it!

Carson, don't you dare touch my stocking! ha ha look at the look on his face! He thinks he is getting Christmas again. He is ready to dive into those stockings.

The $5.00 last minute throw under the tree presents are always the ones the kids like the best. Look how cute these cousins are.

I love watching every family member try to get a picture taken with the little ones. It's impossible to get two three year old boys to sit still long enough to take a picture.

My sister Kim tried...

My brother Jeff tried...

My sister Kristi tried...
Give up guys!

Random family Christmas pics...

New Year's :)

I was planning on staying home New Year's Eve, but I ended up going out with my friend Kit at the last minute. We went to A Bar Named Sue, it was so fun. And this is the only picture I have of the entire night, just Kit and I.

I am ready to say bye to 2009 and welcome 2010! 2009 was a rough year for me...

Last New Year's I spent with Jesse and we were ready to start a new year and had a talk that we were going to make 2009 a good year and try one more time to make this crazy relationship work. That lasted 21 days. So I spent 2009 waiting for him to do the things he needed to in order for our relationship to work, and his relationship with Carson work.

I did have a great summer filled with camping, boating and pool side with the kids.

Shortly after summer I lost three of my best friends due to some stupid high school type drama. And I have been dealing with that since.

And then the year ended with Jesse passing away.

So 2009 started out bad, and ended bad. Four very important people in my life are no longer in my life. But, on the positive side, I met some new friends and reunited with old friends. And I feel it made me a stronger person.

2010 is going to be a great year for me, I just know it. I'm still very sad about Jesse, but I have found some peace the past week. I am grateful that his last Christmas was spent with me and the kids, and that his last New Years was spent with me. I am now feeling some relief knowing that I don't have to worry about him anymore and know that he is happy and freed from his troubles. And I know in my heart that I did all I could to try to help him, and I know he can see that now. And I have realized that I can't keep beating myself up about what could have been or what should have been. And I can't keep beating myself up about what I could have or should have done differently. I know in my heart that he knows I had to do what I had to do. And I found in my heart that I do forgive him for his mistakes and I know he forgives me for my mistakes. And I know he is watching us and is watching Carson every day. And I know he will be my guardian angel and will help me make the right choices for Carson. We may not see him, but he is here. I am feeling a lot better knowing all of this. We love and miss him and we will continue to keep him alive in our home.

I miss my three best friends too, and I am sad that they are no longer apart of my life. One of them has been a friend since high school. The other two for about nine years. For the past nine years I have spent every weekend with these girls, and several phone calls a week. But I know friends grow apart and that some friends come while some friends go. And maybe one day we will hash it out and reminisce. We'll see...

So, 2009 was tough. But I am entering 2010 happy and the strongest I have ever been. I feel very independent and financially stable. I like all the new friends I am hanging out with. And love my two boys more than anything. I am very happy with life right now and the direction it is going.

Cheers to 2010 :)

Christmas with the girls.

2009-12-22T10:54:00.001-08:00

Every year my girlfriends and I have a "girls Christmas party"... no significant others allowed! I'm sure the guys wouldn't want to come anyway lol.

This year Kara had it at her house. She cooked a yummy ham and the rest of us brought the side dishes. Dinner was delicious!

Kara has bought all of us girls a martini glass that best fits our personalities. We all know what we are getting from Kara when it's our birthday, if we don't have a glass yet. So now we all have one, I can't wait to see what her new tradition will be. But each glass has a recipe on the bottom, so this year we had to bring our martini glass along with the ingredients for our martini.

Ronica was the designated bartender.

Lacie, this is my favorite face of yours lol.

After dinner and presents we played games. We started off with Apples to Apples, this is one of my favorite games. After that we played Mad Gab, I really don't like this game. I don't do well when I'm on the spot and under pressure, especially when I've had some alcohol.
It was my turn to read the card, see below what it says...

We can all see that it says "Me Mime Acre" which means "meet my maker" well this is how I read it... Mi Mimi Acray, wait it's Mi Mime Acray. After a few tries saying "acray" Lacie finally leans over to look at the card and says "um that would ACRE" ha ha ha ha. A few too many martini's obviously affects my reading skills. It was pretty funny, but I will be made of the rest of my life for it.

Thanks for the fun night girls!

Congrats Steph!

2009-12-22T10:29:00.000-08:00

I'm a little late with this post...

My friend Steph graduated form Paul Mitchell hair school two weeks ago. She is going to be the best hair stylist ever! I just hope she chooses a salon that is convenient for me :)

We had a graduation party for her at Ejo's, the food wasn't that great. But the party was a blast! She rented a big room where we could eat and have our own party and not annoy the rest of the restaurant.

Way to go Steph!

The highlight of the night was karaoke. I think everyone at the party participated, even me... And I don't like to sing, I suck. Even my kids hate it when I sing, it's sad.

Congratulations Steph!

Bad day.

2009-12-21T09:11:00.000-08:00

Another long post, sorry...

I want to start off by telling everyone that I am so grateful and feel so lucky to have such wonderful people in our lives. I can't thank you all enough for your concerns and your support the past few weeks.

Jesse brought some new people into our lives, and brought me closer to many people. I hope he knows how much he was loved and how much he is going to be missed by so many people.

I am still getting phone calls, text messages, e-mails, and messages on Facebook every day from people asking how we are doing. I really appreciate it. However, I still never know how to answer that question. It's like I need people to ask me, how are you doing at the moment? Because I honestly feel differently every moment of the day lately. I feel kind of crazy. One minute I feel like myself again, the next minute I'm angry, and the next I'm quiet and in deep thought, and the next minute I could cry. I just never know what to expect.

The day I received the phone call I of course cried for a long time, but after that I sat in my living room for a good 4 hours staring at nothing with a blank look on my face. Other than that time I haven't had time to myself. The next few days I was sick with strep throat and still had the kids to take care of, work to take care of, and get to Idaho for the services. Since I've been back it's been kids, work, Christmas parties etc. I feel like I haven't had time to myself, and I need some time to myself. I just keep hiding and pushing aside my feelings so that I'm strong for the kids, and strong at work, and strong for the parties that I need to attend. And I have been doing good at keeping strong, I wait until I get to bed and let it all out. I haven't had a good nights sleep in weeks, I'm tired. I really wish I could get away for a few days and have some time to myself. I just want to be alone.

I love that you are all trying to be positive, and appreciate everyone trying to make me feel better and help the situation. However, there are a few questions and a few comments that are always being said to me that stick in my mind that I want to share. And I'm sorry, but some of these comments and questions are not making me feel better right now, whether they are true or not. In fact, I feel like I am having to defend Jesse, and defend how I am feeling. So here are the answers to your questions and my response to your comments...

1. Everything happens for a reason and there is a reason why you cut ties last January, it was to help you and help Carson prepare for this and have an easier time with this.

2. Since you haven't seen him in almost a year, does it make it easier?

When Jesse would come to visit I made sure everything was perfect. I made sure all of the laundry was done and the house was spotless so that I wasn't busy the entire time and we could spend more time together. I made sure to stock up on food, and always made sure I had his favorite foods which included: cereal, ramen noodles, bagels with cream cheese, and ice cream. Those are just a few things I would do. I went through a lot of work to prepare for Jesse's visits. And guess what I still have been doing the past year while there has been no visits? I still do all of that every week, just in case Jesse knocks on my door, I was always prepared. Every time I would get something new in the house or bought a cute pair of shoes or something, the first thing that came to my mind was "oh Jesse will love this." Last summer I put a ceiling fan in my room because Jesse always complained that he needed "rotating air", I couldn't wait to show him.

With that being said, the past year for me has been spent with Jesse in the back of my mind with everything I do. I still went on with life. I would go to work every day, I would go out with friends, I dated here and there, and I still made sure my kids were my main priority. Yes we are used to Jesse not being around because he hasn't been around since last January. But emotionally, he never left. And what is hard for me is accepting the fact that he isn't coming back. And having a harder time accepting the fact that my son will never know his real father... I am having the hardest time with those two things.

3. Are you relieved that you don't have to worry about him anymore?

Yes. I am happy knowing that he is safe and is happy. But I get anxiety at the same time. I am not a religious person so I find myself freaking out because I want to know where he is. I do believe in spirits, and I do believe that there is life after death. But I just want to know where he is.

4. Aren't you glad that you don't have to fight with him anymore?

Yes and no. Most of the time we were fighting over something stupid like the garbage can or the blinds or the temperature, I won't go into detail. But after the fights we would laugh at each other about the comments we made while we were fighting or the look one of us had on our face. And then we had a lot of brutal fights that were very painful, and are still painful. But we always made up after each fight. I remember the last time he was here we got in a fight about something, I don't remember what. But the next day I was walking upstairs and below me I heard "Cindy I love you" and I was still bitter about the fight so I responded with "awe thanks", but it was those little out of the blue comments that made all of the anger go away.

5. I thought he was going to be a pain in your ass forever!

One of my really good friends made this comment, and I did laugh a little when she said this. Girlfriends always call each other to vent about their boyfriends etc. So I'm thinking I was more of a pain in her ass, she's probably tired of hearing our drama.

6. Maybe you can move on now!

I know there are plenty of fish in the sea. I have dated since I had Carson because Jesse and I were so on and off. And I have dated a ton the past year. After one or two dates, he is out of here. I haven't been able to move on in the past, and I still don't see myself moving on. I don't have my heart back yet, and who knows if I will get it back.

And not only that, but I hurt. We did so many things to each other and said so many horrible things to each other and did it so many times, it hurts. And I know he's hurt too. I will always have to live with this and the way things were left between us, I just wish we could have one more conversation.

6. Someone will come along and be a good dad to Carson.

I'm sure there are plenty of men out there that would be great to Carson, but I have never allowed that to happen, and still don't see myself letting that happen. Carson has never met anyone. I always keep my dating separate from my kids. There were plenty of times Jesse had himself convinced that I was trying to replace him as a father, I hope he can see now that I never let that happen.

I don't see anyone coming into our lives in the near future. I'm not ready to move on, and I am not ready for someone to get close to Carson. And I feel he needs to be old enough to understand where his father went, before letting someone else try to be a father figure. And if I never open up and let someone else in, I'm okay with that too. I am happy with my two boys.

But there is a big part of me that is scared. I'm scared to raise Carson on my own. I have raised Braxton, but not on my own. His father is very involved and we always make decisions for Braxton together. I hope that I make the right decisions for Carson. I hope I can make him happy being mom and dad. I am going to do my best, and I hope it is enough.

8. Jesse loved his son so much and always talked about him. He loved and talked about you too, but boy did he hate you!

Really? Thanks! I really needed to hear that! I know he hated me the past year, I kept him from his son. He was angry at me and he was angry at himself. I know in my heart that he now understands.

Again, I know people are just trying to help and I appreciate it. But I really don't want to hear anymore, is that bad?

I hurt. My heart hurts. My body hurts. I'm angry. I'm tired. I have anxiety. I'm exhausted. I am overwhelmed with having so many different feelings and trying to concentrate on work and the kids and Christmas. All I want to do is sit in my room alone for a few days...

Happy Birthday Ty!

2009-12-16T20:51:00.001-08:00

Meet Tyler Bingham. Tyler passed away September 11, 2007, the cause was similar to Jesse's.

He was my high school sweetheart, and my best friend. He was an amazing man and was a good person to everybody. I have never met someone that was as ambitious as he was. There was never a dull moment with this guy.

His family invited me over for dinner tonight to celebrate his Birthday. It was sooo good to see his family and friends. His mom had a present for me that she forgot to bring, which I will make sure I get it from her... It was all of the letters that I wrote Tyler in high school! I can't believe he saved all of those letters! I am so flattered and so excited that he saved these. I can't wait to read them all.

One of my best memories of him is when he made me dinner for the first time, macaroni and cheese lol. He set the table all cute and lit candles, and served me macaroni and cheese lol. I will never forget that.

Tyler was a senior when I was a sophomore, so he graduated a few years before me. And when I was in high school and he had graduated, he would call the school every day and get my attendance. If he caught me ditching school, he would track me down and take me back to school. And he wouldn't just drop me off, he would actually walk me to my class and tell the teacher to make sure I didn't leave. And then he would go to the Principal and the hall monitors and tell them to make sure I didn't leave school.

When I was pregnant with Braxton, Tyler was there for me. He would bring me every food craving I had. He would come watch movies with me. When my mom was out of town he would come stay with me. He would wash my car, change my oil, put air in my tires etc. He did everything for me. He was such a good guy.

I still have his obituary hanging on my refrigerator, and now Jesse's obituary hangs with it. I'm so sad that I have lost two amazing guys. Am I doing something to these guys lol? If one more goes I'm going to start taking it personal.

I miss you Ty. Happy Birthday.

It's hard to say goodbye...

2009-12-08T08:09:00.001-08:00

A week ago today I received a phone call that I will never forget, and a phone call that will change my life forever. A phone call to tell me that Jesse passed away...

In case you don't know who Jesse is, let me give you a little bit of background of who he is, and what he means to me.

I met Jesse in August 2005 at a Jack Johnson concert. All of my guy friends had known him for awhile, and a few of my girlfriends as well. It was weird that we didn't meet prior to this day with us having so many mutual friends, timing wasn't right I guess. We hung out all night at the concert, and after the concert a few of us went to our friend Johnny's, where Jesse was staying. Jesse would not let me leave that night he just wanted to hang out and drink beer with me, we were having fun so I decided to stay and hang out. After several beers we decided it wasn't a good idea for me to drive home so I stayed at Johnny's with him... Don't be getting any dirty ideas in your head, he was a gentleman. A few hours later when he was asleep, I snuck out. I'm sure you are wanting to ask me "did you leave a note", and no I didn't lol.

After that night Jesse had to leave for six weeks to work. During that six weeks we talked on the phone until the wee hours every single night, and several phone calls and texts throughout the day. We pretty much started a friendship and relationship over the phone. When he came in town next we could not wait to see each other! We had a few dates that visit, and then he had to leave again.

After that visit I decided that Jesse's lifestyle was not for me. He travels a lot and was pretty much everywhere, when I'm home with a kid and hardly ever travel. We just had two completely different lifestyles, and I wanted to be with someone that I can see on a regular basis. So I told Jesse that he was a great guy and that I really liked him, but I didn't want a long distance relationship. And told him that I would love to hang out as friends when he comes in town, and if he ever moved to Salt Lake to let me know and we could date... Three days later he calls to tell me that he was looking for a place to buy in Salt Lake... I was a little shocked, but thrilled.

This is where our journey began...

Shortly after that conversation he came in town and wanted to take me to his home in Idaho and his home in Arizona. Both trips were perfect and amazing. And it was fun to see him so excited to show me his grounds.

Our flight home from Arizona was quit emotional. Jesse put his head down on my lap, and with tears flowing, he began to tell me that he was tired of this lifestyle that he was living. He was tired of traveling, and tired of living out of a suitcase 95% of the time, and that he wanted stability.

The next morning, December 13, 2005... we found out that I was pregnant.

Finding out after a few months of dating that we were going to be parents and be in each other's lives forever, definitely caused some damage to our relationship. We obviously really liked each other and things were going great, but a little too soon to be making such decisions. And with his career requiring him to be gone a lot and traveling, and with me not liking that. We definitely had some issues and were dealt a rough hand from the get go.

The next three years were CRAZY! To say the least. Many of you have been around and have seen what we went through. And many of you always only heard my side of the stories, and many of you always heard Jesse's sides of the stories. But we were both to blame. We did some crazy things to each other, and said some crazy things to each other. We both did the best we could to make each other miserable. But when we loved each other, it showed.

Last January I made the decision that it was time to get Jesse out of our lives. I couldn't deal with one minute loving each other, and the next minute hating each other. I couldn't deal with the fighting anymore and the horrible things we would say to each other. I couldn't let these two boys see us keep going back and forth. And most of all, I couldn't deal with his addiction. And I couldn't have any of this in my home and around my boys anymore. Everyone has a tolerance level, and after three years, I reached my tolerance level. I just wanted to move across the country and crawl in a hole and hide forever, but obviously that's not realistic. So instead I had to break all ties with Jesse. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But I had to get away and had to get this out of my life. Was it the right thing to do? I don't know, and I will never know.

This past year has been really hard for me. I think about Jesse every day. At times I would miss him and would want to call him, and other times I was so angry and would take it out on his mom. I kept myself busy with the kids and surrounded myself with family and friends. I forced myself to date, but always found myself thinking about him and missing him. My life has been on hold this past year, I have been passing time away while waiting for Jesse to get better.

Jesse did write me a little letter in August and in the letter he left me his new phone number and asked me to call him, and I didn't. A month and a half ago he called me when I was furious about a child support situation, and I was not nice to him at all and cried to him about all of my frustrations. I stayed strong the past year. In my head I thought by doing this it would help him and would help our situation. I kept telling myself that I need to let him go and let him deal with his issues, and that he would be back. I thought he would one day getter better and that he would be back. Regardless of him and I and our issues, I knew he would be back for Carson.

Now I keep thinking, did I give up on him too soon? Did he fall of the deep end since last January when I took me away or Carson away or both? Did I do the right thing last January? What if I would have called him in August? If I would have done all of these things differently, would he still be here? I can go on and on with questions that are going through my head. I have all sorts of emotions going on. I feel a lot of regret and guilt, on top of sad, mad, hurt and confused. I don't even know what to think anymore...

I'm so sad that things ended this way, they weren't supposed to end this way. His fight was not over, and our fight was not over. He was supposed to come back and be the father that he wanted to be. And I know he would have been the best father ever, and I know that was his sole motivation. He struggled, but I know he had it in him. He loved Carson more than anything.

And I know Jesse and I had our problems, we had a love hate relationship. We knew how to piss each other off, and how to get even. And believe it or not, we did know how to love each other.

I am so glad that this man came into my life. He taught me so much about myself. We shared so much together, and I will forever cherish all of our good and bad memories. And most of all, he gave me a beautiful son. It makes me sad to think that Carson will never see him again. And it makes me sad that Jesse isn't here to see how cute our little guy is, I hope he's watching. I'm going to do my best to keep Jesse alive in our home.

I wish I could talk to him one more time. I wish I could see him one more time. I wish we could take back all of the horrible things we said to each other. I wish I could have helped him. And I wish I would have done a few things differently.

I am a strong person and can usually deal with anything that comes my way. But right now I'm not sure how to deal with all of this and wondering where my strength is. I don't feel right, I don't feel like the same person I was a week ago.

I'm sorry to keep blabbing random thoughts and feelings. My head is a mess right now.

No one will ever take Jesse's place in my heart. And we will never forget him. I will continue to raise our son the best I can and make him proud. I hope he is in a happy place and free from his troubles and addiction.

We will forever love you Jesse...

Halloween!

2009-11-04T10:46:00.001-08:00

I am going to say right now, I am not a Halloween fan. I really don't enjoy spending a ton of money on a costume only to look ridiculous for one night. I hate scary movies. I hate going trick-or-treating in the cold. And I get mad because I can't stop eating all of the candy. I really can't think of anything fun about it. People think it's weird of me, but I'm okay with that.

This year my sister, hubby, and my nephew Braden came in town. That made Halloween a little more exciting for me. Getting Carson and Braden dressed up and taking them trick-or-treating, was so fun. But, I did feel a little bad for Carson. I didn't know that both Braden and Carson were going to be firemen, and I didn't know Braden was going to have a decked out full fireman uniform... And there was Carson in his cheap fireman coat and hat from Target ha ha. But I purposely bought a cheap costume from Target for two reasons. 1- last year he wouldn't even put on his Halloween costume, so I figured he wouldn't this year either. 2- I hate Halloween and refuse to splurge on it.

So here are the firemen cousins, look how cute they look. Even though Carson got jipped, he still looks cute. And it's probably good they didn't have the exact costume, right? (picture is a little dark and hard to see, sorry)

Trick-or-treating with these two was so fun. They were being so cute! And unfortunately I was only able to upload one video, stupid blogger! Here is Carson his first time trick-or-treating.

Braxton went to his friends house for Halloween, he has better things to do on Halloween than hang out with his family :( he's at that age...

We are still here...

2009-10-26T12:35:00.000-07:00

I am such a blog slacker! I have neglected my blog for so long! And I'm sure nobody wants to read a two page blog about the past two months of our lives, so here is what we have been up to:

Football!

Like I said a few blogs back, football consumes our lives for a few months. This week is the last week of the season, the last game is on Halloween. And I must say, it was the best season so far. We have only lost 4 games, and positive we will win the last game. Braxton had such a good team this year! And he is getting so good!

Sick!

Carson and I have been sick for so long. Carson has been sick for six weeks, and I've been sick for a month! I took Carson to the doctors three weeks ago because he was complaining about a ear ache, they sent us home with nothing and said he was fine. And I went to the doctors two weeks ago (an Instacare I must add) and they told me I had a sinus infection, took the antibiotic and no improvement. I took us both back in last Friday and they told me Carson has a ear infection and Pneumonia, and I have bronchitis. I will never go back to a Instacare, or a night time pediatrics again! All of this could have been avoided weeks ago.

A 3 year old!...
I tried to upload two more videos so you could all see the tantrums and attitude I have been dealing with, but I guess the videos are too long and won't upload. That always happens to me, it's so annoying! So this is the only one you get.
Anyway, Carson has attitude lately! Tantrums, talking back, hitting, pushing etc. His favorites are, "don't talk to me" or "you're bug'n me"

He also has to bring a few toys to bed and has to line them all up perfectly along the side of his bed. It's cute, but annoying at the same time. During the night I will hear Thomas the Train theme song start playing, or a garbage truck sound etc. Below you will see his lunch bag full of cars, his garbage truck, and a line of trains. Not sure why he does it, maybe so he can get up and play with them during the night? Who knows...

Friends!

I always make sure I get out a few times a month with my friends... It's my only break.

That pretty much sums up the past few months :)

7th Grader!!!

2009-08-30T17:21:00.001-07:00

Tuesday morning was Braxton's first day at middle school, and luckily the school had that day dedicated to only the 7th graders so they could get a head start to find their classes and lockers. Braxton and I ran around the school searching and searching for his locker, no luck. So then we decided we better get on our way to find his first period class, after about five minutes of running around the school and the final bell ringing, no luck. We finally asked a teacher for directions, and I sent Braxton on his way... As I walked the halls searching for the library to attend the parent meeting, I felt a knot in my stomach and a gutter of tears in my eyes. As I sat in the parent meeting gulping my tears, all I could think about was how scared Braxton must be. Going from a small elementary school with one teacher to a big school with three floors and SEVEN teachers! I was so worried about him finding his next class, and trying to find his locker, and trying to open the locker, and what if none of his friends have lunch with him is he going to go hide in a bathroom stall and eat lunch. So many things were going through my head that I hardly heard any of the parent meeting, all I wanted to do was run out of that meeting and go find Braxton and walk him through this first day of school. I was definitely more scared than he was. But I stayed strong and finished the parent meeting and left. When I called him after school he assured me that he did just fine and that he loves his new school, and he says there a lot of "hot chicks"... This is normal for me to act like that, right?

I can't believe my first born is already in middle school, I feel so old. Look at this stud muffin ;)

Happy 60th Birthday Mom!!!

2009-08-18T08:45:00.001-07:00

My mom turns 60 tomorrow!!! She looks so good for 60! She is the best mom a girl could ever have, and the best grandma ever! I don't know what we would do without her!

My mom really wanted to be out of town for her birthday, actually she wanted to be out of the country for her birthday. But she was starting to see that it wasn't going to be possible for the family to go out of the country, or her friends. So we started to plan a family trip to California or Yellowstone, and that didn't work out. So us kids threw her a big surprise party last weekend. We reserved a group campsite in Big Cottonwood Canyon at Spruces Campground, one of the fam's favorite places to camp. My brother flew in from California, my mom had no idea. My sister, brother-in-law, and nephew flew in from Colorado, my mom had no idea. And the rest of the family and friends came. The party worked out perfectly and was a blast, well except for the rain :(

Look at this happy, surprised, confused face!

My boys love their uncle Jeff!

Kids always have to be in the middle of cake time and presents, and Carson has to follow cousin Braden everywhere... The best is when Carson runs to me telling on Braden, he can be a tattle tale. But Braden is a little mischievous and Carson likes to play it safe, they are so cute.

The party attendees...

Since my sister and brother were here for the weekend, we celebrated all weekend. And what is a grandmas favorite thing to do? Hang with the family and grandkids.

On Saturday we went to This Is The Place Heritage Park, if you haven't been there and you have kids, you should take them there. It is so fun! You take the "road train" around the village, stop where you want, and get back on and go to the next stop.

Aunt Kimmi showing the kids how to hitch hike for the "road train", I was told it was called a road train?... Who woulda thought road trains existed? Maybe we'll see them around town soon...

The "road train"...

That's right folks, we saw Brigham Young standing in front of his farmhouse. I found it amusing. People on the train were shouting at him asking how many wives he had etc., and come to find out his 3rd wife is my great great great (not sure how many greats) cousin.

Our next stop was the pony ride, Carson didn't know how he felt about it at first. But he did end up loving it, until his pony got a twitch on his back, as the pony twitched Carson hit the twitching over and over. Poor pony must have had a fly bugging him or something.

Braden on the other hand couldn't get enough of the pony. This nephew of mine has no fear of anything and goes for everything with full force. I can't wait to see what he teaches Carson when they get older.

Our next stop was the petting zoo, this was so fun for the kids.

Next stop... Ice cream!

Next stop... the little train. They have this little train the goes around a big pond, it is so cute. I decided I better go with the kids to make sure one doesn't try to jump out. But looking at this picture they really didn't need me to go, there I am right in the middle sitting alone. Us adults always use that excuse so that we can go on these fun little rides, and it always works. But this time I get the feeling I probably had some adults laughing at me, it's clear I wasn't on there to hold the kids... And my hair blowing in the wind, dang I wish I hand my hands up in the air.

On Sunday we took a early afternoon hike to Donut Falls, which is in Big Cottonwood Canyon. It was so pretty up there, and a perfect hike for little ones.

What a great weekend! Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday Carson!

2009-08-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I was feeling bad because Carson wasn't getting a big birthday party. The weekend before his birthday my parents were in Colorado visiting my sister, Braxton was at his dads for the weekend, and all of my friends had stuff going on. So then I thought I would do a birthday party the weekend after his birthday, but my parents and Braxton were going to California to visit my brother. And with Braxton having football practice Monday through Friday night, during the week wasn't going to work. So it was up to only me to celebrate with him. Luckily he is a mama's boy and is content hanging out with his mom, at least I think so lol.

Our birthday weekend consisted of swimming at our pool, going to parks, eating candy, cuddling in my bed watching The Incredibles with a bowl of popcorn, and topped the weekend off on Sunday going to the zoo. I think I did pretty good giving him a memorable birthday :)

Carson loves trains, so when we walked in the zoo that was all he could think about.

And of course we had to rent a wagon, he loves wagons. This is one thing I got him for his birthday.

I personally think it's stupid to have a carousal at a zoo, but I gave in...

This baby Giraffe is 3 days old! So cute!

After feeling sad all weekend I was able to throw together a few little birthday parties for him. So it all worked out.

On the night of his birthday (the 4th) a few of my friends came over for cake and ice cream. Tianna, Lacie, and Lynda with her two kids. It meant a lot to me that they took time out of their busy schedules to come wish Carson a Happy Birthday. Thanks girls!

The past few weeks all Carson has wanted and talked about was a birthday cake. If you said anything about his birthday coming up, he would respond with "I get a birthday cake"... So I got him a spider man cake for this little party. He just started to like Spider Man, so he was so excited!

Tianna and Lacie put in with their gift a box of powdered donuts, Carson absolutely loves powdered donuts! He will eat the entire box in one day if I'd let him. So after telling them donut story after donut story, they thought they would give him a box. He didn't care to open any presents, he just wanted the donuts.

Donut face...

Wednesday night we had a little family Birthday party at my moms, in between Braxton's football practice. We had dinner (mini hamburgers, Carson's favorite) and then I picked Braxton up from football and came back for cake and presents.

This party I got him a Thomas cake. Again, he was so excited.

My mom will be 60 in a week! She looks so good!

And you look good too dad...

The main things I wanted to get Carson was a wagon, a dump truck, and a garbage truck. He is obsessed with garbage trucks, every Monday morning I have to be late for work so that we can watch the garbage truck. So I went all over town trying to find a garbage truck, you'd think it would be easy to find... No! I could not find one anywhere! I was panicked! I finally found one at some toy liquidator at VF Factory Outlet, who would've thought there was a toy store there? But the only one they had was a little tiny one for $20, but I was desperate so I got it. And I'm glad that I did, he loved loved loved it!

My sister and brother-in-law got him this race car track, it is soooo cool!

I am so glad everything worked out for his birthday, he had a blast! Thanks everyone for celebrating, and thanks for the gifts. I can't believe is he already 3 :( he is getting so big!

It's Football Time!

2009-07-30T08:19:00.001-07:00

Look at this guy! I just know he will make it to the NFL ;)

It's that time of year again, when our fun summer times come to an end, and football takes over our lives. This is Braxton's 3rd year playing football, and the first year I vowed to never let him play again. Football practice is Monday night thru Thursday night from 5:30 to 8:00, and next month add football games every Saturday. It's a lot of work! BUT he likes it so much, and I really enjoy watching him play.

Good luck this season Brax, I know you will kick some butt! Go Beetdiggers!

More Camping!

2009-07-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

I am really enjoying my camping vacays this summer! And thanks to my wonderful parents I am able to take a few trips without the little one. Braxton went to Yellowstone with his dad, and my parents took Carson. I love having my little one full time on my own and I love taking him with me, but sometimes it's nice to have a break. I am so grateful that my parents are here to help me, I don't know what I would do without them. Thanks mom and dad!

Last weekend a few us went to my friend Tianna's property in Defa's Ranch, which is up in the Uintah's. The last time I went up to the ranch it was sooo cold and rainy that I didn't get to enjoy it that much, and I only went for one night. So this time I was able to go for the entire weekend, and it was perfect! It was so pretty up there and so relaxing, I was so content. I definitely enjoyed my camping vacay up in the mountains! And of course I have a few pics...

Me and Lynda...

Tianna and Lacie...

Chris...

The girls...

The boys...

Scott doing something... I don't remember what?

This is Boston, Scott's son. He was all about getting in every picture. He's so cute.

And he is pretty good at doing the "robot" dance...

Big boys on little toys...

Scott, you are so manly...

Poor Lincoln had a little too much to drink... I hate it when that happens...

After a few drinks, I like to egg everyone on to shotgun a beer... I may be 31, but it's still fun :)

Ouch!

2009-07-15T09:50:00.000-07:00

Daycare called me at work yesterday to tell me that Carson was stung by a bee. This is his first sting so I wasn't sure what to do, and wasn't sure if he was allergic. I told daycare to give him some Benadryl and that I would be there as soon as I could. When I picked him up this is what he looked like...

Can you believe that?!?! He kept saying over and over all night "the bee get me" and "the bee tickle me" if I said the bee stung him or bit him he would get mad and say "the bee tickle me"... So I guess it doesn't hurt him. And this morning the swelling was completely gone. So I guess he's okay?